From owner-freebsd-doc@FreeBSD.ORG  Sat Aug 27 19:25:50 2005
Return-Path: <owner-freebsd-doc@FreeBSD.ORG>
X-Original-To: docs@freebsd.org
Delivered-To: freebsd-doc@FreeBSD.ORG
Received: from mx1.FreeBSD.org (mx1.freebsd.org [216.136.204.125])
	by hub.freebsd.org (Postfix) with ESMTP id AB64716A41F
	for <docs@freebsd.org>; Sat, 27 Aug 2005 19:25:50 +0000 (GMT)
	(envelope-from garys@opusnet.com)
Received: from opusnet.com (mail.opusnet.com [209.210.200.6])
	by mx1.FreeBSD.org (Postfix) with ESMTP id 5D4BF43D45
	for <docs@freebsd.org>; Sat, 27 Aug 2005 19:25:50 +0000 (GMT)
	(envelope-from garys@opusnet.com)
Received: from localhost.localhost [70.98.246.232] by opusnet.com with ESMTP
	(SMTPD32-8.05) id AE3A3BE000C0; Sat, 27 Aug 2005 12:25:46 -0700
Received: from localhost.localhost (localhost.localhost [127.0.0.1])
	by localhost.localhost (8.13.3/8.13.3) with ESMTP id j7RJQXax024869;
	Sat, 27 Aug 2005 12:26:33 -0700 (PDT)
	(envelope-from garys@opusnet.com)
Received: (from jojo@localhost)
	by localhost.localhost (8.13.3/8.13.3/Submit) id j7RJQMJX024868;
	Sat, 27 Aug 2005 12:26:22 -0700 (PDT)
	(envelope-from garys@opusnet.com)
To: Julien Gabel <jpeg@thilelli.net>
References: <20050827161157.0DA1D73027@titeuf.thilelli.net>
From: garys@opusnet.com (Gary W. Swearingen)
Date: Sat, 27 Aug 2005 12:26:22 -0700
In-Reply-To: <20050827161157.0DA1D73027@titeuf.thilelli.net> (Julien Gabel's
	message of "Sat, 27 Aug 2005 18:11:57 +0200 (CEST)")
Message-ID: <nzd5nzmba9.5nz@mail.opusnet.com>
User-Agent: Gnus/5.1007 (Gnus v5.10.7) XEmacs/21.4.17 (Jumbo Shrimp,
	berkeley-unix)
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii
Cc: docs@freebsd.org
Subject: Re: docs/85353: Very little cosmetic/ponctuation changes for the
 GEOM (geom-striping) chapter of the Handbook.
X-BeenThere: freebsd-doc@freebsd.org
X-Mailman-Version: 2.1.5
Precedence: list
List-Id: Documentation project <freebsd-doc.freebsd.org>
List-Unsubscribe: <http://lists.freebsd.org/mailman/listinfo/freebsd-doc>,
	<mailto:freebsd-doc-request@freebsd.org?subject=unsubscribe>
List-Archive: <http://lists.freebsd.org/pipermail/freebsd-doc>
List-Post: <mailto:freebsd-doc@freebsd.org>
List-Help: <mailto:freebsd-doc-request@freebsd.org?subject=help>
List-Subscribe: <http://lists.freebsd.org/mailman/listinfo/freebsd-doc>,
	<mailto:freebsd-doc-request@freebsd.org?subject=subscribe>
X-List-Received-Date: Sat, 27 Aug 2005 19:25:50 -0000

Julien Gabel <jpeg@thilelli.net> writes:

>    <para>The following command can be used to manually mount a newly
> -    created disk stripe.</para>
> +    created disk stripe:</para>

It's probably not worth changing, but I find "the following" to be
redundant in sentences that ends with ":".

In decreasing order of verbosity:

The following command can be used to manually mount a newly created
disk stripe.

This command can be used to manually mount a newly created disk stripe:

To manually mount a newly created disk stripe:


And while opinions differ, IMO, it should be "newly-created".