From owner-svn-src-stable@FreeBSD.ORG Tue Apr 13 20:44:18 2010 Return-Path: Delivered-To: svn-src-stable@freebsd.org Received: from mx1.freebsd.org (mx1.freebsd.org [IPv6:2001:4f8:fff6::34]) by hub.freebsd.org (Postfix) with ESMTP id 295081065673; Tue, 13 Apr 2010 20:44:18 +0000 (UTC) (envelope-from dougb@FreeBSD.org) Received: from svn.freebsd.org (svn.freebsd.org [IPv6:2001:4f8:fff6::2c]) by mx1.freebsd.org (Postfix) with ESMTP id 160348FC1E; Tue, 13 Apr 2010 20:44:18 +0000 (UTC) Received: from svn.freebsd.org (localhost [127.0.0.1]) by svn.freebsd.org (8.14.3/8.14.3) with ESMTP id o3DKiHsk059931; Tue, 13 Apr 2010 20:44:17 GMT (envelope-from dougb@svn.freebsd.org) Received: (from dougb@localhost) by svn.freebsd.org (8.14.3/8.14.3/Submit) id o3DKiGmG059926; Tue, 13 Apr 2010 20:44:16 GMT (envelope-from dougb@svn.freebsd.org) Message-Id: <201004132044.o3DKiGmG059926@svn.freebsd.org> From: Doug Barton Date: Tue, 13 Apr 2010 20:44:16 +0000 (UTC) To: src-committers@freebsd.org, svn-src-all@freebsd.org, svn-src-stable@freebsd.org, svn-src-stable-8@freebsd.org X-SVN-Group: stable-8 MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=UTF-8 Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit Cc: Subject: svn commit: r206566 - in stable/8/games/fortune: . datfiles X-BeenThere: svn-src-stable@freebsd.org X-Mailman-Version: 2.1.5 Precedence: list List-Id: SVN commit messages for all the -stable branches of the src tree List-Unsubscribe: , List-Archive: List-Post: List-Help: List-Subscribe: , X-List-Received-Date: Tue, 13 Apr 2010 20:44:18 -0000 Author: dougb Date: Tue Apr 13 20:44:16 2010 New Revision: 206566 URL: http://svn.freebsd.org/changeset/base/206566 Log: MFC r205995: Massive cleanup and synchronization with other *BSDs Modified: stable/8/games/fortune/Notes stable/8/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes stable/8/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes-o.real stable/8/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes.sp.ok stable/8/games/fortune/datfiles/limerick stable/8/games/fortune/datfiles/startrek stable/8/games/fortune/datfiles/zippy Directory Properties: stable/8/games/fortune/ (props changed) stable/8/games/fortune/datfiles/ (props changed) Modified: stable/8/games/fortune/Notes ============================================================================== --- stable/8/games/fortune/Notes Tue Apr 13 20:36:54 2010 (r206565) +++ stable/8/games/fortune/Notes Tue Apr 13 20:44:16 2010 (r206566) @@ -19,13 +19,13 @@ Warning: /usr/share/games/fortune. A fortune file has two parts: the source file (which contains the fortunes themselves) and the data file which describes the fortunes. The data file always has the same name as the fortune file -with the string ".dat" concatenated, i.e. "fort" is the standard fortune -database, and "fort.dat" is the data file which describes it. See +with the string ".dat" concatenated, i.e. "fortunes" is the standard fortune +database, and "fortunes.dat" is the data file which describes it. See strfile(8) for more information on creating the data files. Fortunes are split into potentially offensive and not potentially offensive parts. The offensive version of a file has the same name as the -non-offensive version with "-o" concatenated, i.e. "fort" is the standard -fortune database, and "fort-o" is the standard offensive database. The +non-offensive version with "-o" concatenated, i.e. "fortunes" is the standard +fortune database, and "fortunes-o" is the standard offensive database. The fortune program automatically assumes that any file with a name ending in "-o" is potentially offensive, and should therefore only be displayed if explicitly requested, either with the -o option or by specifying a file name @@ -42,10 +42,10 @@ MUST be in the potentially offensive dat explicit language (see George Carlin's recent updated list) MUST be in the potentially offensive database. Political and religious opinions are often sequestered in the potentially offensive section as well. Anything which -assumes as a world view blatantly racist, mysogynist (sexist), or homophobic +assumes as a world view blatantly racist, misogynist (sexist), or homophobic ideas should not be in either, since they are not really funny unless *you* -are racist, mysogynist, or homophobic. - The point of this is that people have should have a reasonable +are racist, misogynist, or homophobic. + The point of this is that people should have a reasonable expectation that, should they just run "fortune", they will not be offended. We know that some people take offense at anything, but normal people do have opinions, too, and have a right not to have their sensibilities offended by @@ -53,7 +53,7 @@ a program which is supposed to be entert -o" or "fortune -a" are saying, in effect, that they are willing to have their sensibilities tweaked. However, they should not have their personal worth seriously (i.e., not in jest) assaulted. Jokes which depend for their -humor on racist, mysogynist, or homophobic stereotypes *do* seriously +humor on racist, misogynist, or homophobic stereotypes *do* seriously assault individual personal worth, and in a general entertainment medium we should be able to get by without it. Modified: stable/8/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes ============================================================================== --- stable/8/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes Tue Apr 13 20:36:54 2010 (r206565) +++ stable/8/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes Tue Apr 13 20:44:16 2010 (r206566) @@ -368,8 +368,10 @@ OR'd together, outta sight! Double bucky, I'd like a whole word of Double bucky, I'm happy I heard of Double bucky, I'd like a whole word of you! - - -- (C) 1978 by Guy L. Steele, Jr. + -- Guy L. Steele, Jr., (C) 1978 + (to Nicholas Wirth, who suggested that an extra bit + be added to terminal codes on 36-bit machines for use + by screen editors.) % Hard Copies and Chmod @@ -834,7 +836,7 @@ would like on it. "Here lies an honest lawyer. "Sorry, but I can't do that," replied the stonecutter. "In this state, it's against the law to bury two people in the same grave. However, -I could put ``here lies an honest lawyer'', if that would be okay." +I could put `here lies an honest lawyer', if that would be okay." "But that won't let people know who it is" protested the lawyer. "Certainly will," retorted the stonecutter. "people will read it and exclaim, "That's Strange!" @@ -1146,7 +1148,7 @@ strings of pearls. The spirit and inten throughout. There should be neither too little nor too much, neither needless loops nor useless variables, neither lack of structure nor overwhelming rigidity. - A program should follow the 'Law of Least Astonishment'. What is this + A program should follow the "Law of Least Astonishment." What is this law? It is simply that the program should always respond to the user in the way that astonishes him least. A program, no matter how complex, should act as a single unit. The @@ -1161,7 +1163,7 @@ program. conference and then returned to report to his manager, saying: "What sort of programmers work for other companies? They behaved badly and were unconcerned with appearances. Their hair was long and unkempt and their -clothes were wrinkled and old. They crashed out hospitality suites and they +clothes were wrinkled and old. They crashed our hospitality suites and they made rude noises during my presentation." The manager said: "I should have never sent you to the conference. Those programmers live beyond the physical world. They consider life absurd, @@ -1466,7 +1468,7 @@ generalizable. The general tendency is to over-design the second system, using all the ideas and frills that were cautiously sidetracked on the first one. The result, as Ovid says, is a "big pile". - -- Frederick Brooks, "The Mythical Man Month" + -- Frederick Brooks, Jr., "The Mythical Man-Month" % An eighty-year-old woman is rocking away the afternoon on her porch when she sees an old, tarnished lamp sitting near the steps. She @@ -1513,7 +1515,7 @@ over canoe frames, for my people need tr and we offer you a chance to kill yourself with our ceremonial knife." The Englishman accepts the knife and yells, "God Save the Queen", while plunging the knife into his heart. - The Frenchman removes the knife from the fallen body, and yells, + The Frenchman removes the knife from the fallen body, and yells, "Vive la France", while plunging the knife into his heart. The American removes the knife from the fallen body, and yells, while stabbing himself all over his body, "Here's your lousy canoe!" @@ -1562,7 +1564,7 @@ a postcard?" "The curious incident of the stable dog in the nighttime." "But the dog did nothing in the nighttime." "That was the curious incident." - -- A. Conan Doyle, "Silver Blaze" + -- Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, "Silver Blaze" % Approaching the gates of the monastery, Hakuin found Ken the Zen preaching to a group of disciples. @@ -1609,8 +1611,8 @@ Los Angeles fainted from hyperoxygenatio under the exhaust of a bus until he revived. % Before he became a hermit, Zarathud was a young Priest, and - took great delight in making fools of his opponents in front of -his followers. +took great delight in making fools of his opponents in front of his +followers. One day Zarathud took his students to a pleasant pasture and there he confronted The Sacred Chao while She was contentedly grazing. "Tell me, you dumb beast," demanded the Priest in his @@ -1626,7 +1628,7 @@ Chinese ideogram for NO-THING.) and finds himself no wiser than before," Bokonon tells us. "He is full of murderous resentment of people who are ignorant without having come by their ignorance the hard way." - -- Kurt Vonnegut, "Cat's Cradle" + -- Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., "Cat's Cradle" % Bubba, Jim Bob, and Leroy were fishing out on the lake last November, and, when Bubba tipped his head back to empty the Jim Beam, he fell out of the @@ -1694,7 +1696,7 @@ way I ought to go from here?" the Cat. "I don't care much where--" said Alice. "Then it doesn't matter which way you go," said the Cat. - -- Lewis Carroll + -- Lewis Carroll, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" (1865) % Concerning the war in Vietnam, Senator George Aiken of Vermont noted in January, 1966, "I'm not very keen for doves or hawks. I think we need more @@ -1877,7 +1879,7 @@ how to be excellent: "In Search of Excel So the Cleaning Personnel Don't Steal It", etc. -- Dave Barry, "In Search of Excellence" % - Exxon's 'Universe of Energy' tends to the peculiar rather than the + Exxon's "Universe of Energy" tends to the peculiar rather than the humorous ... After [an incomprehensible film montage about wind and sun and rain and strip mines and] two or three minutes of mechanical confusion, the seats locomote through a short tunnel filled with clock-work dinosaurs. @@ -1923,9 +1925,9 @@ of events, there lurks a singular, sinis "MINE! HA-HA!" % "Found it," the Mouse replied rather crossly: -"of course you know what 'it' means." +"of course you know what `it' means." - "I know what 'it' means well enough, when I find a thing," + "I know what `it' means well enough, when I find a thing," said the Duck: "it's generally a frog or a worm. The question is, what did the archbishop find?" @@ -1937,15 +1939,15 @@ such as a "pride of lions" or a "gaggle One of the professors noticed a group of prostitutes down the block, and posed the question, "What name would be given to that group?" The four fell into silence for a moment, as they pondered the possibilities... - At last, one spoke: "How about 'a Jam of Tarts'?" The others nodded + At last, one spoke: "How about `a Jam of Tarts'?" The others nodded in acknowledgment as they continued to consider the problem. A second -professor spoke: "I'd suggest 'an Essay of Trollops.'" Again, the others -nodded. A third spoke: "I propose 'a Flourish of Strumpets.'" +professor spoke: "I'd suggest `an Essay of Trollops.'" Again, the others +nodded. A third spoke: "I propose `a Flourish of Strumpets.'" They continued their walk in silence, until the first professor remarked to the remaining professor, who was the most senior and learned of the four, "You haven't suggested a name for our ladies. What are your thoughts?" - Replied the fourth professor, "'An Anthology of Prose.'" + Replied the fourth professor, "`An Anthology of Prose.'" % Fred noticed his roommate had a black eye upon returning from a dance. "What happened?" @@ -1958,12 +1960,11 @@ and sarcastic?" "Of course not," said a sympathetic friend. "Well," retorted Frank, "neither would Jennifer." % - "Gee, Mudhead, everyone at More Science High has an + "Gee, Mudhead, everyone at Morse Science High has an extracurricular activity except you." "Well, gee, doesn't Louise count?" "Only to ten, Mudhead." - - -- Firesign Theater + -- The Firesign Theatre % "Gentlemen of the jury," said the defense attorney, now beginning to warm to his summation, "the real question here before you is, shall this @@ -2261,7 +2262,7 @@ each other up: the floor.) S-word. Excuse me. Look, Bob, I'm going to have to get back to you. Bob: Fine. - -- Dave Barry + -- Dave Barry, "$#$%#^%!^%&@%@!" % "I don't know what you mean by `glory,'" Alice said Humpty Dumpty smiled contemptuously. "Of course you don't -- @@ -2276,7 +2277,9 @@ less." so many different things." "The question is," said Humpty Dumpty, "which is to be master-- that's all." - -- Lewis Carroll, "Through the Looking Glass" + -- Lewis Carroll, + "Through the Looking-Glass, + and What Alice Found There" (1871) % I for one cannot protest the recent M.T.A. fare hike and the accompanying promises that this would in no way improve service. For @@ -2328,7 +2331,7 @@ operation - namely, to remove those irri "And then he will be sane?" "Then he will be perfectly sane, and a quite admirable citizen." "Thank heaven for science!" said old Yacob. - -- H.G. Wells, "The Country of the Blind" + -- H. G. Wells, "The Country of the Blind" % "I keep seeing spots in front of my eyes." "Did you ever see a doctor?" @@ -2403,7 +2406,7 @@ more simply -- `Never imagine yourself n might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them to be otherwise.'" - -- Lewis Carroll, "Alice in Wonderland" + -- Lewis Carroll, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" (1865) % I said, "Preacher, give me strength for round 5." He said, "What you need is to grow up, son." @@ -2567,7 +2570,7 @@ man. Mud-as-man alone could speak. "Certainly," said man. "Then I leave it to you to think of one for all of this," said God. And He went away. - -- Kurt Vonnegut, "Between Time and Timbuktu" + -- Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., "Between Time and Timbuktu" % In the beginning there was data. The data was without form and null, and darkness was upon the face of the console; and the Spirit of @@ -2815,7 +2818,7 @@ guzzled in one gulp and then smashed on the man stuffed the broken bottle in his mouth, munched broken glass and smacked his lips with relish. "Can I, ah, uh, get you another, sir?" the drifter stammered. - "Naw, I gotta git outa here, boy," the man grunted. "Big Mike's + "Naw, I gotta git outta here, boy," the man grunted. "Big Mike's a-comin'." % Love's Drug @@ -3002,7 +3005,7 @@ confirm who I am. -- Captain Freedom % Old Barlow was a crossing-tender at a junction where an express train -demolished an automobile and it's occupants. Being the chief witness, his +demolished an automobile and its occupants. Being the chief witness, his testimony was vitally important. Barlow explained that the night was dark, and he waved his lantern frantically, but the driver of the car paid no attention to the signal. @@ -3072,7 +3075,7 @@ and it was very juicy. I stood up and t when my mother at the kitchen window called my name in a sharp voice. I had to decide quickly. I decided. A rotten Big Boy hitting the target is a memorable sound, like a fat -man doing a belly-flop. With a whoop and a yell the tomatoe came after +man doing a belly-flop. With a whoop and a yell the tomatoee came after me faster than I knew she could run, and grabbed my shirt and was about to brain me when Mother called her name in a sharp voice. And my sister, who was a good person, obeyed and let go -- and burst into tears. I guess she knew that @@ -3164,7 +3167,7 @@ biggest, strongest fish he had ever caug until, finally, he managed to bring it to the surface. Looking of the edge of the boat, he saw the head of this huge fish breaking the surface. Smiling with pride, he reached over the edge to pull the fish up. Unfortunately, he -accidently caught his watch on the edge, and, before he knew it, there was a +accidentally caught his watch on the edge, and, before he knew it, there was a snap, and his watch tumbled into the water next to the fish with a loud "sploosh!" Distracted by this shiny object, the fish made a sudden lunge, simultaneously snapping the line, and swallowing the watch. Sadly, the @@ -3539,12 +3542,14 @@ know." "An uncomfortable sort of age. Now if you'd asked MY advice, I'd have said 'Leave off at seven' -- but it's too late now." "I never ask advice about growing," Alice said indignantly. - "Too proud?" the other enquired. + "Too proud?" the other enquired. Alice felt even more indignant at this suggestion. "I mean," she said, "that one can't help growing older." "ONE can't, perhaps," said Humpty Dumpty; "but TWO can. With proper assistance, you might have left off at seven." - -- Lewis Carroll, "Through the Looking-Glass" + -- Lewis Carroll, + "Through the Looking-Glass, + and What Alice Found There" (1871) % Several students were asked to prove that all odd integers are prime. The first student to try to do this was a math student. "Hmmm... @@ -3732,7 +3737,7 @@ she'd been she said she'd spent the nigh % "That's right; the upper-case shift works fine on the screen, but they're not coming out on the damn printer... Hold? Sure, I'll hold." - -- e.e. cummings last service call + -- e. e. cummings last service call % "The best thing for being sad," replied Merlin, beginning to puff and blow, "is to learn something. That's the only thing that never fails. @@ -3907,7 +3912,7 @@ married! You're a sadist, that's what!" THE LESSER-KNOWN PROGRAMMING LANGUAGES #2: RENE Named after the famous French philosopher and mathematician Rene -DesCartes, RENE is a language used for artificial intelligence. The +Descartes, RENE is a language used for artificial intelligence. The language is being developed at the Chicago Center of Machine Politics and Programming under a grant from the Jane Byrne Victory Fund. A spokesman described the language as "Just as great as dis [sic] city of @@ -4030,7 +4035,9 @@ called 'Ways and Means': but that's onl time completely bewildered. "I was coming to that," the Knight said. "The song really is "A-sitting on a Gate": and the tune's my own invention." - --Lewis Carroll, "Through the Looking Glass" + -- Lewis Carroll, + "Through the Looking-Glass, + and What Alice Found There" (1871) % The only real game in the world, I think, is baseball... You've got to start way down, at the bottom, when you're six or seven years @@ -4065,7 +4072,8 @@ blocks of wood. Opaque, like black pool "The pyramid is opening!" "Which one?" "The one with the ever-widening hole in it!" - -- Firesign Theater, "How Can You Be In Two Places At + -- The Firesign Theatre, + "How Can You Be In Two Places At Once When You're Not Anywhere At All" % The salesman and the system analyst took off to spend a weekend in the @@ -4157,8 +4165,8 @@ make sure that they are Earthlings. The when some guy goes bananas, the cops rope off a sixteen block area around him and call a shrink from the medical school who stands atop a patrol car with a megaphone and shouts, "OK! THIS! ALL! STARTED! WHEN! YOU! WERE! -THREE! YEARS! OLD! ON! ACCOUNT! OF! YOUR MOTHER! RIGHT? SO! LET'S! -TALK! ABOUT! IT!" Down here they don't waste that kind of time. The LAPD +THREE! YEARS! OLD! ON! ACCOUNT! OF! YOUR MOTHER! RIGHT? SO! LET'S! +TALK! ABOUT! IT!" Down here they don't waste that kind of time. The LAPD has SWAT teams composed of guys who make Darth Vader look like Mr. Peepers. Before they go to bust a bookie joint they mortar it first. -- M. Christensen, "A Portland Innocent in LA" @@ -4270,7 +4278,7 @@ you the Widow Miffin?" a small boy asked "Oh, no?" replied the little boy. "Wait 'til you see what they're carrying upstairs!" % - There was a mad scientist (a mad... social... scientist) who kidnaped + There was a mad scientist (a mad... social... scientist) who kidnapped three colleagues, an engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician, and locked each of them in separate cells with plenty of canned food and water but no can opener. @@ -4282,13 +4290,13 @@ and escaped. off the tin cans by throwing them against the wall. She was developing a good pitching arm and a new quantum theory. The mathematician had stacked the unopened cans into a surprising -solution to the kissing problem; his dessicated corpse was propped calmly +solution to the kissing problem; his desiccated corpse was propped calmly against a wall, and this was inscribed on the floor: Theorem: If I can't open these cans, I'll die. Proof: assume the opposite... % There was once a programmer who was attached to the court of the -warlord Wu. The warlord asked the programmer: "Which is easier to design: +warlord of Wu. The warlord asked the programmer: "Which is easier to design: an accounting package or an operating system?" "An operating system," replied the programmer. The warlord uttered an exclamation of disbelief. "Surely an @@ -4328,7 +4336,7 @@ demands from him more than his utmost st sinew and brain and hope and fear and dreams -- and still calls for more. They are fools that think otherwise. No great effort was ever bought. No painting, no music, no poem, no cathedral in stone, no church, no state was -ever raised into being for payment of any kind. No parthenon, no Thermopylae +ever raised into being for payment of any kind. No Parthenon, no Thermopylae was ever built or fought for pay or glory; no Bukhara sacked, or China ground beneath Mongol heel, for loot or power alone. The payment for doing these things was itself the doing of them. @@ -4393,14 +4401,14 @@ be as easily led to beauty as to uglines relations, to joy as to bitterness, be said to be suffering from Hunter Thompson's disease. I don't have it this morning. It comes and goes. This morning I don't have Hunter Thompson's disease. - -- Kurt Vonnegut Jr. on Dr. Hunter S. Thompson: Excerpt + -- Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. on Dr. Hunter S. Thompson: Excerpt from "A Political Disease", Vonnegut's review of "Fear and Loathing: On the Campaign Trail '72" % - To A Quick Young Fox + To A Quick Young Fox: Why jog exquisite bulk, fond crazy vamp, Daft buxom jonquil, zephyr's gawky vice? -Guy fed by work, quiz Jove's xanthic lamp-- +Guy fed by work, quiz Jove's xanthic lamp -- Zow! Qualms by deja vu gyp fox-kin thrice. -- Lazy Dog % @@ -4565,7 +4573,7 @@ let him lie there all night." "Don't worry about that. They have a guard station in front of the White House that's open 24 hours a day. The guards would recognize Colson... and by that time of course his wife would have called the cops and reported -that a bunch of thugs had kidnaped him." +that a bunch of thugs had kidnapped him." "Wouldn't it be a little kinder if you drove about four more blocks and stopped at a phone box to ring the hospital and say, 'Would you mind going around to the front of the White House? There's a naked man lying outside @@ -4574,7 +4582,7 @@ in the street, bleeding to death...'" "It would be quite a story for the newspapers, wouldn't it?" "Yeah, I think it's safe to say we'd see some headlines on that one." -- Hunter S. Thompson, talking to R. Steadman on C. Colson, - ex-Marine captain, now born again, of Watergate fame. + ex-Marine captain, now born again, of Watergate fame. % "Well, it's garish, ugly, and derelicts have used it for a toilet. The rides are dilapidated to the point of being lethal, and could easily @@ -4593,7 +4601,7 @@ an End-user of Very Little Brain, and lo "Well, that was a piece of cake, eh K-9?" "Piece of cake, Master? Radial slice of baked confection ... coefficient of relevance to Key of Time: zero." - -- Dr. Who + -- "Doctor Who" % "We're running out of adjectives to describe our situation. We had crisis, then we went into chaos, and now what do we call this?" said @@ -4691,7 +4699,7 @@ ever happened to me... the most dreadful "Well, it's a highly technical, sensitive instrument we use in computer repair. Being a layman, you probably can't grasp exactly what it does. We call it a two-by-four." - -- Jeff MacNelley, "Shoe" + -- Jeff MacNelly, "Shoe" % "When I drink, *everybody* drinks!" a man shouted to the assembled bar patrons. A loud general cheer went up. After downing his @@ -4860,14 +4868,14 @@ There, that ought to patch it. Dist it "The famous scientific criminal, as famous among crooks as --" "My blushes, Watson," Holmes murmured, in a deprecating voice. "I was about to say 'as he is unknown to the public.'" - -- A. Conan Doyle, "The Valley of Fear" + -- Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, "The Valley of Fear" % "You know, it's at times like this when I'm trapped in a Vogon airlock with a man from Betelgeuse and about to die of asphyxiation in deep space that I really wish I'd listened to what my mother told me when I was young!" "Why, what did she tell you?" - "I don't know, I didn't listen." + "I don't know, I didn't listen!" -- Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" % "You mean, if you allow the master to be uncivil, to treat you @@ -5076,7 +5084,7 @@ please communicate them by one of the fo ARPA: WastebasketSLMHQ.ARPA UUCP: [berkeley, seismo, harpo]!fubar!thekid!slmhq!wastebasket - Non-network sites: Federal Express to: + Non-network sites: Federal Express to: Wastebasket Room NE43-926 Copernicus, The Moon, 12345-6789 @@ -5223,7 +5231,7 @@ III. Any body passing through solid matt 8. Babes in Boyland 9. Santa's Magic Lap 10. Hot Buttered Elves - -- David Letterman's "Top Ten Christmas Movies in Times + -- David Letterman, "Top Ten Christmas Movies in Times Square" % ... A booming voice says, "Wrong, cretin!", and you notice that you @@ -5337,7 +5345,7 @@ other's private parts. ... computer hardware progress is so fast. No other technology since civilization began has seen six orders of magnitude in performance-price gain in 30 years. - -- Fred Brooks + -- Frederick Brooks, Jr. % ... [concerning quotation marks] even if we *_d_i_d* quote anybody in this business, it probably would be gibberish. @@ -5350,8 +5358,6 @@ introduction of Christianity, have been yet we have not advanced one inch towards uniformity. -- Thomas Jefferson, "Notes on Virginia" % - Eat drink and be merry, for tomorrow they may make it illegal. -% <<<<< EVACUATION ROUTE <<<<< % ... "fire" does not matter, "earth" and "air" and "water" do not matter. @@ -5440,14 +5446,14 @@ legally ... impeccable! -- Individuals who make their abode in vitreous edifices would be well advised to refrain from catapulting projectiles. -- Neophyte's serendipity. --- Exclusive dedication to necessitious chores without interludes of hedonistic +-- Exclusive dedication to necessitous chores without interludes of hedonistic diversion renders John a hebetudinous fellow. -- A revolving concretion of earthy or mineral matter accumulates no congeries of small, green bryophytic plant. -- Abstention from any aleatory undertaking precludes a potential escalation of a lucrative nature. -- Missiles of ligneous or osteal consistency have the potential of fracturing - osseous structure, but appelations will eternally remain innocuous. + osseous structure, but appellations will eternally remain innocuous. % ** MAXIMUM TERMINALS ACTIVE. TRY AGAIN LATER ** % @@ -5492,7 +5498,7 @@ their C programs. -- Robert Firth % ... Our second completely true news item was sent to me by Mr. H. Boyce -Connell Jr. of Atlanta, Ga., where he is involved in a law firm. One +Connell, Jr. of Atlanta, Ga., where he is involved in a law firm. One thing I like about the South is, folks there care about tradition. If somebody gets handed a name like "H. Boyce," he hangs on to it, puts it on his legal stationery, even passes it to his son, rather than do what @@ -5519,7 +5525,7 @@ awareness of the great goals for Man and galled saucepan does not reach 212 degrees Fahrenheit. % ... so long as the people do not care to exercise their freedom, those -who wish to tyrranize will do so; for tyrants are active and ardent, +who wish to tyrannize will do so; for tyrants are active and ardent, and will devote themselves in the name of any number of gods, religious and otherwise, to put shackles upon sleeping men. -- Voltarine de Cleyre @@ -5596,13 +5602,13 @@ cleanersayingIllgetyoumyprettyandyourlit % ... this is an awesome sight. The entire rebel resistance buried under six million hardbound copies of "The Naked Lunch." - -- The Firesign Theater + -- The Firesign Theatre % ... though his invention worked superbly -- his theory was a crock of sewage from beginning to end. -- Vernor Vinge, "The Peace War" % - U X + U X e dUdX, e dX, cosine, secant, tangent, sine, 3.14159... % * UNIX is a Trademark of Bell Laboratories. @@ -5647,7 +5653,7 @@ into doubt. % ... when fits of creativity run strong, more than one programmer or writer has been known to abandon the desktop for the more spacious floor. - -- Fred Brooks + -- Frederick Brooks, Jr. % ... which reminds me of the Carrot family: Ma Carrot, Pa Carrot, and Baby Carrot. One fine spring day they decided to go out for a picnic. They all @@ -5708,20 +5714,20 @@ QED: A sheet of paper is a lazy dog. 10. The city does not employ so called "Wallet Inspectors". -- David Letterman, "Top Ten New York City Pedestrian Tips" % -[1] Alexander the Great was a great general. -[2] Great generals are forewarned. -[3] Forewarned is forearmed. -[4] Four is an even number. -[5] Four is certainly an odd number of arms for a man to have. -[6] The only number that is both even and odd is infinity. +(1) Alexander the Great was a great general. +(2) Great generals are forewarned. +(3) Forewarned is forearmed. +(4) Four is an even number. +(5) Four is certainly an odd number of arms for a man to have. +(6) The only number that is both even and odd is infinity. Therefore, Alexander the Great had an infinite number of arms. % -[1] Alexander the Great was a great general. -[2] Great generals are forewarned. -[3] Forewarned is forearmed. -[4] Four is an even number. -[5] Four is certainly an odd number of arms for a man to have. -[6] The only number that is both even and odd is infinity. +(1) Alexander the Great was a great general. +(2) Great generals are forewarned. +(3) Forewarned is forearmed. +(4) Four is an even number. +(5) Four is certainly an odd number of arms for a man to have. +(6) The only number that is both even and odd is infinity. Therefore, all horses are black. % 1. Avoid fried meats which angry up the blood. @@ -5792,7 +5798,7 @@ you have to (always catch the buyer hung 2. I, David Letterman, will never rent out my farm again. 1. We are stardust. We are golden. We are going to look really stupid to future generations. - -- David Letterman, Top Ten Lessons of Woodstock + -- David Letterman, "Top Ten Lessons of Woodstock" % 10 Reasons Why a Beer is Better Than a Woman: @@ -5801,8 +5807,8 @@ you have to (always catch the buyer hung 3. A beer doesn't think baseball is stupid simply because the guys spit. 4. A beer doesn't give a [expletive deleted] if you keep a bunch of other beers on the side. - 5. A beer will not call you a sexist pig if you say "doberman" instead of - "doberperson". + 5. A beer will not call you a sexist pig if you say "Doberman" instead of + "Doberperson." 6. A beer won't get a job as a DJ and play 5 straight hours of lesbian folk music on yer fave radio station. 7. A beer understands why The Three Stooges are funny. @@ -5820,7 +5826,7 @@ FF buckets of bits on the bus FF buckets of bits on the bus FF buckets of bits Take one down, short it to ground -FE buckets of bits on the bus... +FE buckets of bits on the bus ad infinitum... % @@ -5932,13 +5938,13 @@ It isn't just a good idea, it's the law! What 20th Century U.S. President was almost impeached and what office did he later hold? % -3 syncs represent the trinity - init, the child and the eternal zombie +3 syncs represent the trinity -- init, the child and the eternal zombie process. In doing 3, you're paying homage to each and I think such traditions are important in this shallow, mercurial business we find ourselves in. -- Jordan K. Hubbard % -$3,000,000. +$3,000,000 % 355/113 -- Not the famous irrational number PI, but an incredible simulation. @@ -6050,7 +6056,7 @@ A beautiful woman is a blessing from Hea -- Kipling % A beautiful woman is a picture which drives all beholders nobly mad. - -- Emerson + -- Ralph Waldo Emerson % A beer delayed is a beer denied. % @@ -6067,7 +6073,7 @@ A billion hours ago man had not yet walk A billion dollars ago was late yesterday afternoon at the U.S. Treasury. % A biologist, a statistician, a mathematician and a computer scientist are on -a photo-safari in Africa. As they're driving along the savanna in their +a photo-safari in Africa. As they're driving along the savannah in their jeep, they stop and scout the horizon with their binoculars. The biologist: "Look! A herd of zebras! And there's a white zebra! @@ -6203,7 +6209,7 @@ invariably sat silent. The monk had alr and a moonlit night. One day he brought to Tortue a piece of string, and asked the same question. In reply, the Grand Tortue grasped the loop between his feet and, with a few simple manipulations, created a complex -string which he proferred wordlessly to the monk. At that moment, the monk +string which he proffered wordlessly to the monk. At that moment, the monk was enlightened. From then on, the monk did not bother Tortue. Instead, he made string after @@ -6261,9 +6267,10 @@ A city is a large community where people % A clash of doctrine is not a disaster - it is an opportunity. % -A classic is something that everyone wants to have read +A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read. - -- Mark Twain, "The Disappearance of Literature" + -- Mark Twain quoting Professor Winchester, + "The Disappearance of Literature" % A clever prophet makes sure of the event first. % @@ -6438,7 +6445,7 @@ damned things is ample. A couch is as good as a chair. % A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - -- Ben Franklin + -- Benjamin Franklin % A couple of young fellers were fishing at their special pond off the beaten track when out of the bushes jumped the Game Warden. Immediately, @@ -6535,7 +6542,7 @@ A diplomatic husband said to his wife, " your birthday when you never look any older?" % A diplomat's life consists of three things: protocol, Geritol, and alcohol. - -- Adlai Stevenson + -- Adlai E. Stevenson % A distraught patient phoned her doctor's office. "Was it true," the woman inquired, "that the medication the doctor had prescribed was for the rest @@ -6544,7 +6551,7 @@ of her life?" the woman proceeded bravely on. "Well, I'm wondering, then, how serious my condition is. This prescription is marked `NO REFILLS'". % -A diva who specializes in risque arias is an off-coloratura soprano. +A diva who specializes in risqu'e arias is an off-coloratura soprano. % A doctor calls his patient to give him the results of his tests. "I have some bad news," says the doctor, "and some worse news." The bad news is @@ -6708,7 +6715,7 @@ dimension strictly exceeds the topologic -- Mandelbrot, "The Fractal Geometry of Nature" % A free society is one where it is safe to be unpopular. - -- Adlai Stevenson + -- Adlai E. Stevenson % A freelancer is one who gets paid by the word -- per piece or perhaps. -- Robert Benchley @@ -6728,11 +6735,11 @@ lawyers more than he hates his wife. A friend with weed is a friend indeed. % A full belly makes a dull brain. - -- Ben Franklin + -- Benjamin Franklin [and the local candy machine man. Ed] % -A 'full' life in my experience is usually full only of other +A "full" life in my experience is usually full only of other people's demands. % A furore Normanorum libera nos, O Domine! @@ -6782,7 +6789,7 @@ A gift of a flower will soon be made to A girl and a boy bump into each other -- surely an accident. A girl and a boy bump and her handkerchief drops -- surely another accident. But when a girl gives a boy a dead squid -- *_t_h_a_t _h_a_d _t_o _m_e_a_n _s_o_m_e_t_h_i_n_g*. - -- S. Morganstern, "The Silent Gondoliers" + -- S. Morgenstern, "The Silent Gondoliers" % A girl with a future avoids the man with a past. -- Evan Esar, "The Humor of Humor" @@ -6847,7 +6854,7 @@ then asks the backhoe operator for direc A GOOD WAY TO THREATEN somebody is to light a stick of dynamite. Then you call the guy and hold the burning fuse to the phone. "Hear that?" you say. "That's dynamite, baby." - -- Jack Handey, The New Mexican, 1988 + -- Jack Handey, "The New Mexican" (1988) % A gossip is one who talks to you about others, a bore is one who talks to you about himself; and a brilliant conversationalist is one who talks to @@ -6867,7 +6874,7 @@ to take it all away. A grammarian's life is always intense. % A great empire, like a great cake, is most easily diminished at the edges. - -- Ben Franklin + -- Benjamin Franklin % A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices. @@ -6883,7 +6890,7 @@ indicating two directions at once. Full bushy black moustache and, at their corners, sank into little folds filled with disapproval and potato chip crumbs. In the shadow under the green visor of the cap Ignatius J. Reilly's supercilious blue and yellow eyes looked down -upon the other people waiting under the clock at the D.H. Holmes department +upon the other people waiting under the clock at the D. H. Holmes department store, studying the crowd of people for signs of bad taste in dress. Several of the outfits, Ignatius noticed, were new enough and expensive enough to be properly considered offenses against taste and decency. Possession of @@ -6981,19 +6988,19 @@ Stormtroopers, who can't hit the broad s -- Tom Galloway % A is for Amy who fell down the stairs, B is for Basil assaulted by bears. -C is for Clair who wasted away, D is for Desmond thrown out of the sleigh. +C is for Clara who wasted away, D is for Desmond thrown out of the sleigh. E is for Ernest who choked on a peach, F is for Fanny, sucked dry by a leech. G is for George, smothered under a rug, H is for Hector, done in by a thug. I is for Ida who drowned in the lake, J is for James who took lye, by mistake. K is for Kate who was struck with an axe, L is for Leo who swallowed some tacks. -M is for Maud who was swept out to sea, N is for Nevil who died of ennui. +M is for Maud who was swept out to sea, N is for Neville who died of ennui. O is for Olive, run through with an awl, P is for Prue, trampled flat in a brawl -Q is for Quinton who sank in a mire, R is for Rhoda, consumed by a fire. -S is for Susan who parished of fits, T is for Titas who flew into bits. +Q is for Quentin who sank in a mire, R is for Rhoda, consumed by a fire. +S is for Susan who parished of fits, T is for Titus who flew into bits. U is for Una who slipped down a drain, V is for Victor, squashed under a train. -W is for Winie, embedded in ice, X is for Xercies, devoured by mice. -Y is for Yoric whose head was bashed in, Z is for Zilla who drank too much gin. - -- Edward Gorey "The Gastly Crumb Tines" +W is for Winnie, embedded in ice, X is for Xerxes, devoured by mice. +Y is for Yorick whose head was bashed in, Z is for Zillah who drank too much gin. + -- Edward Gorey, "The Gashlycrumb Tinies" % A is for Apple. -- Hester Pryne @@ -7077,7 +7084,7 @@ The lady, indignant, removed her ear. % A language that doesn't affect the way you think about programming is not worth knowing. - -- Alan Perlis + -- Alan J. Perlis % A language that doesn't have everything is actually easier to program in than some that do. @@ -7138,7 +7145,7 @@ A lie in time saves nine. % A lie is an abomination unto the Lord and a very present help in time of trouble. - -- Adlai Stevenson + -- Adlai E. Stevenson % A life lived in fear is a life half lived. % @@ -7160,10 +7167,10 @@ And the clean ones so seldom are comical % A LISP programmer knows the value of everything, but the cost of nothing. - -- Alan Perlis + -- Alan J. Perlis % A list is only as strong as its weakest link. - -- Don Knuth + -- Donald E. Knuth % A little experience often upsets a lot of theory. % @@ -7171,7 +7178,7 @@ A little inaccuracy saves a world of exp -- C. E. Ayres % A little inaccuracy sometimes saves tons of explanation. - -- H. H. Munro, "Saki" + -- H. H. Munroe a.k.a. Saki, "The Square Egg" (1924) % A little kid went up to Santa and asked him, "Santa, you know when I'm bad right?" And Santa says, "Yes, I do." The little kid then asks, "And you @@ -7185,7 +7192,7 @@ those software systems that have excited the products of one or a few designing minds, great designers. Consider Unix, APL, Pascal, Modula, the Smalltalk interface, even Fortran; and contrast them with Cobol, PL/I, Algol, MVS/370, and MS-DOS. - -- Fred Brooks + -- Frederick Brooks, Jr. % A little word of doubtful number, A foe to rest and peaceful slumber. @@ -7208,7 +7215,7 @@ A lot of people are afraid of heights. -- Steven Wright % A lot of people I know believe in positive thinking, -and so do I. I believe everything positively stinks. +and so do I. I believe everything positively stinks. -- Lew Col % A lover without indiscretion is no lover at all. @@ -7228,7 +7235,7 @@ a beautiful woman. Somewhere, somebody' % A man always remembers his first love with special tenderness, but after that begins to bunch them. - -- Mencken + -- H. L. Mencken % A man arrived home early to find his wife in the arms of his best friend, who swore how much they were in love. To quiet the enraged husband, the @@ -7288,7 +7295,7 @@ staggers up to the door and confronts th "I'm sorry, sir, ties required." % A man is known by the company he organizes. - -- A. Bierce + -- Ambrose Bierce % A man is like a rusty wheel on a rusty cart, He sings his song as he rattles along and then he falls apart. @@ -7366,7 +7373,7 @@ Tell, me who is buried here?" "My wife's first husband." % A man who cannot seduce men cannot save them either. - -- Soren Kierkegaard + -- S. A. Kierkegaard (1813-1855) % A man who carries a cat by its tail learns something he can learn in no other way. @@ -7444,7 +7451,7 @@ but to protect the writer. % A method of solution is perfect if we can foresee from the start, and even prove, that following that method we shall attain our aim. - -- Leibnitz + -- Gottfried Wilhelm Leibniz % A Mexican newspaper reports that bored Royal Air Force pilots stationed on the Falkland Islands have devised what they consider a marvelous new @@ -7454,28 +7461,24 @@ along it at the water's edge. Perhaps t heads in unison watching the planes go by, and when the pilots turn around and fly back, the birds turn their heads in the opposite direction, like spectators at a slow-motion tennis match. Then, the -paper reports "The pilots fly out to sea and directly to the penguin +paper reports, "The pilots fly out to sea and directly to the penguin colony and overfly it. Heads go up, up, up, and ten thousand penguins fall over gently onto their backs. - -- Audobon Society Magazine - -2001-02-02, from http://news.bbc.co.uk: + -- Audubon Society Magazine -For five weeks, a team from the British Antarctic Survey (BAS) -monitored 1,000 king penguins on the island of South Georgia as -Lynx helicopters passed overhead. - -"Not one king penguin fell over when the helicopters came over," -said team leader Dr Richard Stone. - -"As the aircraft approached, the birds went quiet and stopped +[From the BBC, 2001-02-02: + For five weeks, a team from the British Antarctic Survey (BAS) +monitored 1,000 king penguins on the island of South Georgia as Lynx +helicopters passed overhead. + "Not one king penguin fell over when the helicopters came over," +said team leader Dr. Richard Stone. + "As the aircraft approached, the birds went quiet and stopped calling to each other, and adolescent birds that were not associated with nests began walking away from the noise. Pure animal instinct, really." - -The conclusion, said Dr Stone, is that flights over 305 metres -(1,000 feet) caused "only minor and transitory ecological effects" -on king penguins. + The conclusion, said Dr. Stone, is that flights over 305 metres +(1,000 feet) caused "only minor and transitory ecological effects" on +king penguins.] % A mighty creature is the germ, Though smaller than the pachyderm. @@ -7613,7 +7616,7 @@ A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore. % A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better and greater than a "Yes" merely uttered to please, or what is worse, to avoid trouble. - -- Mahatma Ghandi + -- Mahatma Gandhi % A novice of the temple once approached the Chief Priest with a question. @@ -7684,12 +7687,12 @@ A person who has something looks at all % A person who is more than casually interested in computers should be well schooled in machine language, since it is a fundamental part of a computer. - -- Donald Knuth + -- Donald E. Knuth % A pessimist is a man who has been compelled to live with an optimist. -- Elbert Hubbard % -A physicist is an atoms way of knowing about atoms. +A physicist is an atom's way of knowing about atoms. -- George Wald % A pickup with three guys in it pulls into the lumber yard. One of the men @@ -7756,7 +7759,7 @@ paycheck?" % A political man can have as his aim the realization of freedom, but he has no means to realize it other than through violence. - -- Jean Paul Sartre + -- Jean-Paul Sartre % A possum must be himself, and being himself he is honest. -- Walt Kelly @@ -7764,7 +7767,7 @@ A possum must be himself, and being hims A pound of salt will not sweeten a single cup of tea. % A power so great, it can only be used for Good or Evil! - -- Firesign Theatre, "The Giant Rat of Summatra" + -- The Firesign Theatre, "The Giant Rat of Sumatra" % A "practical joker" deserves applause for his wit according to its quality. Bastinado is about right. For exceptional wit one might grant keelhauling. @@ -7777,7 +7780,7 @@ A prediction is worth twenty explanation A pretty foot is one of the greatest gifts of nature... please send me your last pair of shoes, already worn out in dancing... so I can have something of yours to press against my heart. - -- Goethe + -- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe % A pretty woman can do anything; an ugly woman must do everything. % @@ -7831,7 +7834,7 @@ when its programs require attention to t % A prohibitionist is the sort of man one wouldn't care to drink with -- even if he drank. - -- Mencken + -- H. L. Mencken % A prominent broadcaster, on a big-game safari in Africa, was taken to a watering hole where the life of the jungle could be observed. As he @@ -8019,7 +8022,7 @@ die and a new generation grows up that i % A sect or party is an elegant incognito devised to save a man from the vexation of thinking. - -- Ralph Waldo Emerson, Journals, 1831 + -- Ralph Waldo Emerson, "Journals" (1831) % A sense of desolation and uncertainty, of futility, of the baselessness of aspirations, of the vanity of endeavor, and a thirst for a life giving @@ -8197,7 +8200,7 @@ Lord of the Rings LITE(tm) Some guys take a long vacation to throw a ring into a volcano. Hamlet LITE(tm) - -- by Wm. Shakespeare + -- by William Shakespeare A college student on vacation with family problems, a screwy girl-friend and a mother who won't act her age. @@ -8210,7 +8213,7 @@ A Tale of Two Cities LITE(tm) lady who knits. Crime and Punishment LITE(tm) - -- by Fyodor Dostoevski + -- by Fyodor Dostoyevsky A man sends a nasty letter to a pawnbroker, but later *** DIFF OUTPUT TRUNCATED AT 1000 LINES ***