Date: Fri, 29 Nov 1996 14:19:03 -0800 From: "Jordan K. Hubbard" <jkh@time.cdrom.com> To: Terry Lambert <terry@lambert.org> Cc: wwong@wiley.csusb.edu (William Wong), wes@xmission.com, chat@freebsd.org Subject: Re: Laws of Physics (was Re: SCSI A/V drives) Message-ID: <13554.849305943@time.cdrom.com> In-Reply-To: Your message of "Fri, 29 Nov 1996 11:00:45 MST." <199611291800.LAA02434@phaeton.artisoft.com>
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> So in order of "importance" for marketability: > > 1) Ability to get an interview. > 2) Ability to sell yourself in an interview. > 3) Ability to do what you claimed you could so that you keep > the job. Terry Terry Terry, now we *know* you're an academic. None of this has been relevant in Dilbert's America for some time - I think you must have been looking in one of those Job Strategy Handbook's from the 50's again (the tip-off is when the illustrations all have hairstyles like June and Ward Cleaver). Here's the modern version: 1) Ability to get an interview. 2) Ability to sell yourself in an interview. 3) Ability to appear like you're working hard so that you can keep the job. 4) Ability to delegate tasks to others so that nothing ever actually winds up in your inbox, where it could damage your career. 5) Ability to call attention to the previous strategy during your golf games with the boss in such a way that it makes you look like great management material. 6) Ability to get promoted to management, where you can now walk around the office all day with a cup of coffee, hassling people and appearing like the kind of "hands-on" manager they need rather than just some jerk who has no actual job of his own. 7) Ability to write memos containing so much jargon that nobody can actually understand just what it is you're talking about, making you a clear and acknowledged expert of some sort. 8) Ability to cash out your hefty stock options at age 40 and retire to become a "management consultant", giving pricey seminars to others about your 8 step program for success. Needless to say, the degree is not that important a component. If you want a bragging wall in your office, it's also far better to cover it with certificates of completion from various training seminars (see #8) claiming that you've been Crosbyized, Fagin Processed and personally certified as ISO-9000 compliant. Since these will also enable you to spend up to 60% of your time away from the office in training, it's another good way of avoiding any actual work. If you're going to instruct the impressionable youth on this mailing list, Terry, at least make the effort to stay current. Thanks. Jordan
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