Date: Tue, 30 Aug 2005 09:53:45 -0700 From: garys@opusnet.com (Gary W. Swearingen) To: Giorgos Keramidas <keramida@freebsd.org> Cc: freebsd-doc@freebsd.org, Murray Stokely <murray@freebsdmall.com> Subject: Re: Two new articles for review Message-ID: <8bek8bs6w6.k8b@mail.opusnet.com> In-Reply-To: <20050830110611.GA80696@orion.daedalusnetworks.priv> (Giorgos Keramidas's message of "Tue, 30 Aug 2005 14:06:11 %2B0300") References: <20050830101853.GC20599@freebsdmall.com> <20050830110611.GA80696@orion.daedalusnetworks.priv>
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Giorgos Keramidas <keramida@freebsd.org> writes:
> It has climbed to the fourth position and to an 8% market share
> during the last two years thanks to superior quality of service.</para>
Probably more common: "to fourth position".
> - <para>In Argentina and Latin America in general people who don't
> - have computers at home go to so called <quote>Locutorios</quote>
> + <para>People who live in Argentina and other parts of Latin America do not
> + always have computers or Internet access at home. As a result, they
> + frequently use one of so called <quote>Locutorios</quote>
Changes the author's meaning too much, IMO. But I don't know when
"open season" begins with articles.
Also, my dictionary says that one should either use 'so-called
some_noun' (with a hyphen) or just '"some_noun"' (with double quotes).
Also, it's got too much or too little. One of these should do:
use a so-called Locutorio
use one of the so-called Locutorios
> connect. The dialup business involves a support structure to deal
> with the Telcos about telephony problems and quality of service,
> plus a technical structure where latency and packet-loss should be
Unless it's standard jargon or something, the hyphen should be a space.
> @@ -104,12 +105,12 @@
> made it necessary to design the new system with at least 300M user
"300 MB" (I hope :)
> disk space, but at a cost lower than 3 US dollars per GB with some
> degree of redundancy. Bear in mind that rackmountable hardware is
Me and "aspell" suggest "rack-mountable".
> - hard to find in Argentina, and is between 30 and 40% more
> + hard to find in Argentina, and is between 30 to 40% more
Sorry, it's "between 30 and 40" or "30 to 40".
> expensive than in the US. Our total budget for equipment
> - acquisition in two years was 75,000 USD, which is only a fraction
> + acquisition in two years was $75,000 USD, which is only a fraction
> of our direct competitors' investments.</para>
Omit the "$", IMO. But "USD" was too short for a basic Google check.
> - <para>With regard to the antispam service, it became necessary to
> + <para>As part of our antispam service, it became necessary to
> develop a product that could compete with the systems offered by
> the big ones. Given the hostile conditions imposed by the
> existence of spam (dictionary attacks, spams with high degree of
> @@ -117,11 +118,11 @@
> it becomes very difficult to achieve an excellent uptime while
> repelling attacks. One must also be careful that the user doesn't
> lose mails because of false positives in the classification
"mails" is rather rare. Either "mail" or "messages" or both.
That's enough. I think I should be doing this differently (if at all)
and I have a headache.
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