Date: Sat, 18 Aug 2001 04:10:07 -0700 (PDT) From: Salvo Bartolotta <bartequi@neomedia.it> To: freebsd-doc@freebsd.org Subject: Re: docs/29842: Stilted language and improper puncuation in Dialup firewalling with FreeBSD article Message-ID: <200108181110.f7IBA7G50674@freefall.freebsd.org>
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The following reply was made to PR docs/29842; it has been noted by GNATS. From: Salvo Bartolotta <bartequi@neomedia.it> To: "rsowders@usgs.gov" <root@www-1.wr.usgs.gov> Cc: FreeBSD-gnats-submit@freebsd.org Subject: Re: docs/29842: Stilted language and improper puncuation in Dialup firewalling with FreeBSD article Date: Sat, 18 Aug 2001 13:06:46 +0200 (CEST) >Number: 29842 >Category: docs >Synopsis: Stilted language and improper puncuation in Dialup firewalling with FreeBSD article >Confidential: no >Severity: serious >Priority: low >Responsible: freebsd-doc >State: open >Quarter: >Keywords: >Date-Required: >Class: doc-bug >Submitter-Id: current-users >Arrival-Date: Fri Aug 17 20:10:01 PDT 2001 >Closed-Date: >Last-Modified: >Originator: Robert Sowders >Release: FreeBSD 4.3-STABLE i386 >Organization: United States Geological Survey >Environment: System: FreeBSD www-1.wr.usgs.gov 4.3-STABLE FreeBSD 4.3-STABLE #0: Thu Jul 12 01:06:31 PDT 2001 root@www-1.wr.usgs.gov:/usr/obj/usr/src/sys/WWW6 i386 >Description: The article Dialup Firewalling with FreeBSD contains some stilted language, poor grammer, and a few punctuation errors. Nothing too glaring, but thought I would submit this fix anyway. Unified diff follows. >How-To-Repeat: >Fix: <snip> - <para>Now, let's look at a sample firewall file, and we'll detail - everything in it. </para> + <para>Now, let's look at a sample firewall file, that is commented nicely. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^ + </para> Since "that" as a relative pronoun is used in *defining* relative clauses, I am missing the intended sense of the sentence. AFAICS: 1) Either "that" is a demonstrative pronoun (this, that; these, those); 2) Or you mean "[...] a sample firewall file that is commented nicely" (N.B. NO comma). If interpretation 1) holds, I am not quite sure whether the sentence is fully correct; if 2) holds, the [resulting] sentence sounds a little curious to me (or is it just me?:-)) I was thinking about something like "[...] a nicely and extensively commented sample firewall", thus removing the secondary clause. Another possibility might be "[...] a sample firewall. Each rule in this example is nicely [and extensively] commented." Or am I simply missing something? -- Salvo To Unsubscribe: send mail to majordomo@FreeBSD.org with "unsubscribe freebsd-doc" in the body of the message
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