Date: Sun, 28 Aug 2011 22:12:29 -0600 (MDT) From: Warren Block <wblock@wonkity.com> To: Garrett Cooper <yanegomi@gmail.com> Cc: freebsd-doc@freebsd.org Subject: Re: docs/160269: [patch] Handbook wireless section: sand off some rough edges Message-ID: <alpine.BSF.2.00.1108282110580.39681@wonkity.com> In-Reply-To: <201108290130.p7T1UFLj020449@freefall.freebsd.org> References: <201108290130.p7T1UFLj020449@freefall.freebsd.org>
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This message is in MIME format. The first part should be readable text, while the remaining parts are likely unreadable without MIME-aware tools. ---902635197-1141510348-1314591149=:39681 Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; format=flowed; charset=US-ASCII On Mon, 29 Aug 2011, Garrett Cooper wrote: > The following reply was made to PR docs/160269; it has been noted by GNATS. > > From: Garrett Cooper <yanegomi@gmail.com> > > > > <note> > > - <para>If the <filename>/etc/rc.conf</filename> is set up > > + <para>If <filename>/etc/rc.conf</filename> is set up > > with the line <literal>ifconfig_wlan0="DHCP"</literal> > > - then it is no need to run the > > - <command>dhclient</command> command manually, > > + then it is not necessary to run the > > + <command>dhclient</command> command manually. > > This isn't entirely true. You can specify other options like > "SYNCDHCP", "ssid <foo> DHCP", etc, and it will achieve what's > described below. Manual execution of dhclient in general should be > discouraged for most users. Changes made; I also found "plumbs the keys" to make my brain hurt. > > <para>EAP does not come with an encryption method, it was > > decided to embed EAP inside an encrypted tunnel. Many > > -types of EAP authentication methods have been designed, > > -the most common methods are EAP-TLS, EAP-TTLS and > > +types of EAP authentication methods have been designed. > > +The most common methods are EAP-TLS, EAP-TTLS and > > EAP-PEAP.</para> > > Maybe it should say something like "There are many EAP authentication > methods: the most common ones are EAP-TLS, EAP-TTLS, and EAP-PEAP" ? Done, but slightly differently. The preceding sentence also had problems. > > <para>EAP-TLS (EAP with Transport Layer Security) is a > > @@ -1555,7 +1555,7 @@ > > 0<callout arearefs=3D"co-ttls-cacert"> > > <para>The <literal>ca_cert</literal> field indicates > > the pathname of the CA certificate file. This file > > -is needed to verify the server certificat.</para> > > +is needed to verify the server certificate.</para> > > </callout> > > > > <callout arearefs="co-ttls-pha2"> > > @@ -1599,10 +1599,10 @@ > > > > <para>PEAP (Protected EAP) has been designed as an > > alternative to EAP-TTLS. There are two types of PEAP > > -methods, the most common one is PEAPv0/EAP-MSCHAPv2. In > > +methods; the most common one is PEAPv0/EAP-MSCHAPv2. In > > That could be a colon instead. The alternate type is never mentioned, so it's pointless to say that there are two. Instead, let's just say PEAPv0/EAP-MSCHAPv2 is the most common. This is actually an aside in the paragraph, so let's move it to a <note> just before the paragraph. > This sentence is extremely wordy. Yes, and poorly organized. Better with the rewrite. > The rest of the changes are good incremental improvements to the > existing doc :). Thanks! Second version of the patch attached, which I think addresses both these and Mr. Kaduk's comments. Also removed one pointless "simply". ---902635197-1141510348-1314591149=:39681 Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII; name=patch-handbook-wireless-2.diff.txt Content-Transfer-Encoding: BASE64 Content-ID: <alpine.BSF.2.00.1108282212290.39681@wonkity.com> Content-Description: Content-Disposition: attachment; filename=patch-handbook-wireless-2.diff.txt LS0tIGVuX1VTLklTTzg4NTktMS9ib29rcy9oYW5kYm9vay9hZHZhbmNlZC1u ZXR3b3JraW5nL2NoYXB0ZXIuc2dtbC5vcmlnCTIwMTEtMDgtMjggMTc6NTc6 MjguMDAwMDAwMDAwIC0wNjAwDQorKysgZW5fVVMuSVNPODg1OS0xL2Jvb2tz L2hhbmRib29rL2FkdmFuY2VkLW5ldHdvcmtpbmcvY2hhcHRlci5zZ21sCTIw MTEtMDgtMjggMjI6MDc6MjQuMDAwMDAwMDAwIC0wNjAwDQpAQCAtMTE2NCw3 ICsxMTY0LDcgQEANCiAJICAgICAgYXV0aGVudGljYXRpb24gcGFyYW1ldGVy cywgeW91IHdpbGwgaGF2ZSB0byBnZXQgYW4gSVANCiAJICAgICAgYWRkcmVz cyB0byBjb21tdW5pY2F0ZS4gIE1vc3Qgb2YgdGltZSB5b3Ugd2lsbCBvYnRh aW4NCiAJICAgICAgeW91ciB3aXJlbGVzcyBJUCBhZGRyZXNzIHZpYSBESENQ LiAgVG8gYWNoaWV2ZSB0aGF0LA0KLQkgICAgICBzaW1wbHkgZWRpdCA8Zmls 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