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Date:      Fri, 16 Aug 1996 20:15:30 -0700 (MST)
From:      Terry Lambert <terry@lambert.org>
To:        terry@phaeton.artisoft.com (Terry Lambert)
Cc:        joelh@gnu.ai.mit.edu, terry@lambert.org, dgy@rtd.com, batie@agora.rdrop.com, chat@freebsd.org
Subject:   Re: File System on a tape
Message-ID:  <199608170315.UAA03888@phaeton.artisoft.com>
In-Reply-To: <199608170258.TAA03859@phaeton.artisoft.com> from "Terry Lambert" at Aug 16, 96 07:58:48 pm

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> > How about other absurd computer folk tales?

Almost forgot the user who always wanted to know "what does that do?"
or "what's that?".  Really annoying...

We had a disk crash on a 10M removable disk pack.  When we got the disk
out, the surface scrapings came out of the head access hole in the
pack.

"What's that brown stuff?"

"Bits."

---

Then there was the accountant at Morton-Thiokol, where a friend of mine
worked.  He came in and did inventory on everything.  About a week later,
he came back in the morning and did inventory again.  He looked mildly
upset, but was tightlipped.  He came back about an hour after he finished
the second time with corporate security and a couple of VP's, and demanded
to know where the $20,000 computer monitor went.  Nobody knew wat he was
talking about, and he got real upset.  Finally, he showed one of the
operators his clipboard.

Turns out he was upset because he couldn't affix an inventory tag to
the "VAX Performance Monitor".  After they finished laughing, they
showed him the 9 track tape (it is a VMS software product).

My friend won "best user story" at DECUS with that one...

---

We convinced one manager that the reason his network connection was so
slow was that the bits had to go upstairs (against gravity) to get to
his office.

---

This isn't really a computer story, but a friend of mine was a missle
jockey for the Air Force.  There was one of the physical security guys
who was always taking himself too seriosly (gun on full auto, etc.).

They convinced him that the motion detector housing had a camera in it,
and an officer was monitoring the camera for five minutes every 4
hours.  To show the officer that everything was OK, and that he wan't
under duress, he had to salute the camera when he came on duty, salute
it again halfway through, and salute it again before going off duty.

---


					Terry Lambert
					terry@lambert.org
---
Any opinions in this posting are my own and not those of my present
or previous employers.



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