Date: Mon, 01 Oct 2001 06:58:07 From: html.-.Jokes.Quotes.&.anecdotes@smtp.prism.net To: www@freebsd.org Subject: HELP the VICTIMS by ENERGIZING your IMAGE Message-ID: <200110011301.f91D0rf12211@smtp.prism.net>
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NEWS FLASH! Our hearts go out to the victims and their families of the September 11th terrorist attacks in New York, Washington DC & Pennsylvania. We might not compare with the corporate giants, but Jokes Quotes & anecdotes has committed to donate HALF of ALLl Company profits from September 11th to October 11th directly to those families. This is your chance to help the victims' families while you boost your own professional image. You may visit their website by clicking on the link to: http://www.jokesquotesandanecdotes.com to place an order and pledge your support. Thank you. (please read on for more information) PRESS RELEASE: Sandy, UT NO JOKE HE'S BLIND . . . AND YOU CAN QUOTE ME ON THAT After a heated exchange with Winston Churchill, Lady Astor, a fierce political rival, fumed, "Sir, if I were your wife, I would poison your tea!" Churchill replied, "Madam, if you were my wife, I'd drink it!" This memorable anecdote hangs framed with a picture of Churchill in the office of Van Schmidt, President of Jokes Quotes & anecdotes, a company providing communication tools for business executives and professionals. At first glance, he seems no different from any other young executive, until you notice the white cane folded neatly on his desk and the dog curled at his feet...Van Schmidt is blind. Last year, Mr. Schmidt, a 38-year-old father of three, suddenly found himself forced to leave a promising career in business management because of his failing vision. Determined to move forward, Schmidt came up with a business idea he could manage-even totally blind. "Have you ever noticed the difference in communication skills among business professionals?" begins Schmidt. "Some have you hanging on every word. Others, even CEOs of multi-million dollar corporations, are real snoozers. Don't these human tranquilizers know what people think of them? Boring, lifeless, no sense of humor, someone you want to avoid...both personally and professionally." "Whose career or business can afford that kind of image?" wonders Mr. Schmidt. "If you think image isn't important, just ask Walter Mondale, Bob Dole or Al Gore." "On the other hand, we all admire the great communicators," says Schmidt, motioning to the picture and quote from Churchill. "We view them with respect, intelligence and personality. Obviously we can't all be a Churchill, Twain or Seinfeld-true masters of humor and human interest. But we can certainly borrow from their genius. A well-placed joke, a provocative quotation, or an inspiring story can energize your image. Instead of just another speaker, a rigid boss or an ordinary business associate, they'll now see you as a sharp, vibrant, credible friend and a mentor. That kind of image is worth real dollars to your business!" "It seems easy enough to most professionals, just finding a few good quotes or jokes for a speech or meeting. But the problem," explains Schmidt, looking up from his work, "isn't a lack of available material. It's just the opposite-there's too much of it-literally thousands of books and websites. I've been there myself, searching for hours through volumes of anemic quotes or browsing through dirty, unintelligent jokes-some are really funny, but don't have a thing to do with business. Others I wouldn't dare tell my fishing buddies, let alone tell clients at a business dinner or use in a speech. It's really frustrating. My time is worth more than that, and so is yours." "Nobody wants to publish a joke or quote book with only 20 pages of quality material," Mr. Schmidt says, "so they all pack them with worthless filler, and they make you read through it just to find anything you can use. One typical quote book, for example, lists nearly 5,000 quotes, 150 of which I could ever recommend to business professionals-that's only three percent of a book that literally takes days to read!" So Mr. Schmidt founded Jokes, Quotes & anecdotes, a monthly publication containing only the most exceptional jokes, quotations and stories, all hand-picked for business executives and professionals. Using assistive devices, Mr. Schmidt works with his staff pouring over countless books and websites, sorting out the rare good material from the mountains of fluff and filth. They publish only the meat and trim the fat, searching for hours, so you don't have to. "We're the only source we know that offers your choice of all three-jokes, quotes and stories," continues Schmidt. "All clean, no filler, and all for business people: executives, professionals, educators, salespeople." In addition to thousands of the most powerful stories, hysterical jokes and provocative quotes, Jokes Quotes & anecdotes also includes tips to teach even the most hopeless bore how to capture an audience, be the life of the party, win the loyalty of employees and take the "bored" out of board meetings. Subscribers may actually make individual special requests for material on specific topics. Each month, the publication holds a contest for the best jokes, quotes or stories submitted by subscribers, and spotlights the winner and his or her business. It is available in a searchable, categorized electronic version, sent each month by email, or in a printed version sent by the postal service. A full year of Jokes, Quotes & anecdotes, 12 monthly issues, costs only $99, a real value. That's about what it costs a friendless executive to go to lunch alone once a month. And it's far less costly to a business or organization than a poor image portrayed by its executives and professionals, not to mention the hours they might waste each year searching on their own for quotes, jokes or stories to use in meetings or presentations. Mr. Schmidt is pleased at the early success of his company. He hopes his success will inspire others with disabilities. That hope is important to Schmidt. His two young daughters, ages six and eleven (see photo), also suffer from Retinitis Pigmentosa, the same hereditary eye disease he has. "It's hard for me to know what's ahead for my little girls," Schmidt says, pausing. "My sight's too far gone, but for their sake, and the rest of the blind community, we're donating part of our earnings to the Foundation Fighting Blindness." "We're all devastated by the heartache families are feeling from the tragedies in New York, DC and Pennsylvania," adds Schmidt. "We might not compare to the corporate giants, but we've committed to donate half of all our September Company profits to those families. We just need help from subscribers. You get a great product and support an even greater cause." For more information about Jokes, Quotes & anecdotes or to order and donate, visit their website: http://www.jokesquotesandanecdotes.com or call toll-free 1-866-253-0063.. NOTE to those concerned about your donation: We were in business well before the September 11th attack and already had in place a charitable program benefiting the Foundation Fighting Blindness. You will receive an email after the end of the month stating where your donation went and how much money was donated. We apologize if you received this information by mistake. Please click remove@jokesquotesandanecdotes.com and send a blank email to be removed from future mailings. If you have comments or questions please direct them to custservice@jokesquotesandanecdotes.com ©2001 Jokes Quotes & anecdotes To Unsubscribe: send mail to majordomo@FreeBSD.org with "unsubscribe freebsd-www" in the body of the message
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