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Date:      Fri, 10 Dec 2010 12:15:05 -0500
From:      Glen Barber <glen.j.barber@gmail.com>
To:        Ryusuke SUZUKI <ryusuke@FreeBSD.org>
Cc:        freebsd-doc@FreeBSD.org
Subject:   Re: newbies page (ppp)
Message-ID:  <4D026019.20408@gmail.com>
In-Reply-To: <20101211.011833.193776160.ryusuke@jp.FreeBSD.org>
References:  <20101209.223154.193764232.ryusuke@jp.FreeBSD.org>	<4D00E2C8.8020206@gmail.com> <20101211.011833.193776160.ryusuke@jp.FreeBSD.org>

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On 12/10/10 11:18 AM, Ryusuke SUZUKI wrote:
> 
> ryusuke>  How about the following patch?
> ryusuke>
> ryusuke> diff -u -r1.58 newbies.sgml
> 
> ryusuke> snip...
> 
> ryusuke> +      <li><p>There is a lot of documentation to help for setting up ppp.
> ryusuke> +	  You might start with at least those parts of the
> 
> glen> I think with this rewording, "at least" can be removed.
> 
>   Thanks. "at leaset" is removed and clarify "those parts" as following,
> 
> diff -u -r1.58 newbies.sgml
> --- newbies.sgml	9 Aug 2009 12:58:45 -0000	1.58
> +++ newbies.sgml	9 Dec 2010 15:29:53 -0000
> @@ -70,11 +70,10 @@
>            beginners.  You do not have to know much about anything to enjoy
>            this one.</p></li>
> 
> -      <li><p>The first thing many people need to set up is ppp, and there is
> -          a lot of documentation to help. You might start with at least those
> -          parts of the
> -          <a href="&url.books;/handbook/index.html">Handbook</a>
> -          that are relevant to your needs, and explore the
> +      <li><p>There is a lot of documentation to help for setting up ppp.
> +	  You might start with the <a
> +	    href="&url.books;/handbook/ppp-and-slip.html">PPP and SLIP</a>
> +	  chapter of the FreeBSD Handbook that are relevant to your needs, and explore the

Not to sound pedantic, but maybe 's/FreeBSD/&os;/' too? :)

Best regards,

-- 
Glen Barber



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