Date: Thu, 18 Mar 2004 10:40:04 -0600 (CST) From: Ryan Thompson <ryan@sasknow.com> To: "Kevin D. Kinsey, DaleCo, S.P." <kdk@daleco.biz> Cc: chat@freebsd.org Subject: Re: Programmer joke... Message-ID: <20040318103434.P61702@earl.sasknow.net> In-Reply-To: <40589DD1.7050003@daleco.biz> References: <40589DD1.7050003@daleco.biz>
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Kevin D. Kinsey, DaleCo, S.P. wrote to chat@freebsd.org: > Anyone got a good programmer joke? Well, I came up with this the other day: I really miss the days where spam was a mystery meat, viruses were treatable primarily with chicken soup and bedrest, and an "inbox" was something in which I could put all of my Atari manuals. =C9mail was a material used to glaze ceramics. Servers were the people you tipped well if they didn't fsck up your order. Procedures were followed, not debugged. Functions were things you dressed up for. Threads were stylin', and not so prone to memory leaks. Bootstraps were... well, they were bootstraps. Power bars contained carbohydrates. Unattended backups were what happened when your toilet overflowed while you were away on vacation. Keyboards were friendly (honestly, when did you ever hear of an ill-tempered clavier?). Mice were always cordless. File systems could be designed and implemented by minimum-wage secretarial help. If you made a new device, you got a patent, not a major number. Mounting special devices was generally done against doctor's orders. Batches of things were generally edible, not editable. A brute force crypt attack usually involved a mallet and a wooden stake. Less was only sometimes more. Scripts were generally well-written. The answer to "whoami" wasn't limited to sixteen alpha-numeric characters. Windows were transparent and could be replaced without having to also re-install one's appliances and re-re-decorate. Jails had exercise programs. Trees had the leaves on top. Hash functions were a lot more laid back. Stack smashing was really only popular among violent extremists. Excel was a verb, and it had positive connotations. "named" was correctly monosyllabic. Hooks suspended coats and caught fish for supper. Goals in bus architecture included seating capacity and fuel economy. North bridges and south bridges could be quenched with water if they caught fire. Rust was about the only thing one had to watch for on one's chassis. Menus didn't need keyboard shortcuts. Registers were the things one filled out at weddings and such. Loop unrolling, you might do with say, an extension cord. Pointers didn't require dereferencing to be useful. Most people knew what "or" meant. People who attempted to send messages to objects were given better drugs. Classes usually had at least one hot girl (or guy). Hacking either involved chest congestion, or a big knife, or both. Pirates had cool ships. - Ryan --=20 Ryan Thompson <ryan@sasknow.com> SaskNow Technologies - http://www.sasknow.com 901-1st Avenue North - Saskatoon, SK - S7K 1Y4 Tel: 306-664-3600 Fax: 306-244-7037 Saskatoon Toll-Free: 877-727-5669 (877-SASKNOW) North America
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