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Date:      Sat, 5 Oct 2013 01:43:24 -0400
From:      Glen Barber <gjb@FreeBSD.org>
To:        Eitan Adler <eadler@FreeBSD.org>
Cc:        svn-doc-head@freebsd.org, svn-doc-all@freebsd.org, doc-committers@freebsd.org
Subject:   Re: svn commit: r42844 - head/en_US.ISO8859-1/htdocs
Message-ID:  <20131005054324.GC3273@glenbarber.us>
In-Reply-To: <20131005053825.GB3273@glenbarber.us>
References:  <201310050529.r955TjED049437@svn.freebsd.org> <20131005053825.GB3273@glenbarber.us>
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On Sat, Oct 05, 2013 at 01:38:25AM -0400, Glen Barber wrote:
> On Sat, Oct 05, 2013 at 05:29:45AM +0000, Eitan Adler wrote:
> > Modified: head/en_US.ISO8859-1/htdocs/about.xml
> > =3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=
=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=
=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=
=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D
> > --- head/en_US.ISO8859-1/htdocs/about.xml	Sat Oct  5 04:50:49 2013	(r42=
843)
> > +++ head/en_US.ISO8859-1/htdocs/about.xml	Sat Oct  5 05:29:45 2013	(r42=
844)
> > @@ -15,19 +15,15 @@
> > =20
> >      		<h2>What is FreeBSD?</h2>
> > =20
> > -		      <p>FreeBSD is an advanced operating system for x86
> > -			compatible (including Pentium&reg; and Athlon&trade;),
> > -			amd64, x86-64 and x64
> > -			compatible (including Opteron&trade;, Athlon&trade;64,
> > -			and EM64T), ARM, IA-64, PowerPC, PC-98 and UltraSPARC&reg;
> > -			architectures.  It is derived from BSD, the version of
> > +		      <p>FreeBSD is an operating system for a <a
> > +			href=3D"&base;/platforms/">variety of
> > +			platforms</a> focussing on features, speed, and
>=20
>                                       ^^^^^^^^^
> Focusing?
>=20

In fact, I'd remove the 'ing' entirely.  "which focuses on[...]".

Glen


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