Date: Tue, 26 Feb 2002 09:35:19 -0500 From: Michael Lucas <mwlucas@blackhelicopters.org> To: Tom Rhodes <darklogik@pittgoth.com> Cc: freebsd-doc@FreeBSD.ORG Subject: Re: docs/35098: [PATCH] Handbook NFS stuff Message-ID: <20020226093519.A55250@blackhelicopters.org> In-Reply-To: <200202231550.g1NFo1t30805@freefall.freebsd.org>; from darklogik@pittgoth.com on Sat, Feb 23, 2002 at 07:50:01AM -0800 References: <200202231550.g1NFo1t30805@freefall.freebsd.org>
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Closer still... On Sat, Feb 23, 2002 at 07:50:01AM -0800, Tom Rhodes wrote: > + <para>On FreeBSD, the setup of <acronym>NFS</acronym> is a relatively straightforward suggest ", NFS setup is relatively"; shorter. > > <programlisting>portmap_enable="YES" > nfs_server_enable="YES" > -nfs_server_flags="-u -t -n 4" > mountd_flags="-r"</programlisting> So, we're no longer giving the default flags, which is good, but you describe the options below? This will leave trailing references, where people will ask "what '-n 4' flag?" > - <para><command>mountd</command> is automatically run whenever the > - NFS server is enabled. The <option>-u</option> and > - <option>-t</option> flags to <command>nfsd</command> tell it to > + <para><command>mountd</command> runs automatically whenever the > + <acronym>NFS</acronym> server is enabled. The <option>-u</option> and > + <option>-t</option> flags tell <command>nfsd</command> to > serve UDP and TCP clients. The <option>-n 4</option> flag tells > <command>nfsd</command> to start 4 copies of itself.</para> > > - <programlisting>nfs_client_enable="YES" > -nfs_client_flags="-n 4"</programlisting> > + <programlisting>nfs_client_enable="YES"</programlisting> Gratuitous whitespace; please be kind to translators. Should look more like (generated off the top of my head, not a real patch, will not apply, blah blah blah) > <programlisting>nfs_client_enable="YES" > -nfs_client_flags="-n 4"</programlisting> > + </programlisting> Diff size reduced by 33%, translators will appreciate it. Whoever commits this patch will re-wrap it for you. > > - <para>Like <command>nfsd</command>, the <option>-n 4</option> tells > + <para>As with <command>nfsd</command>, the <option>-n 4</option> tells > <command>nfsiod</command> to start 4 copies of itself.</para> Ditto here on "dangling references to example that no longer exists." > + <para>The <acronym>NFS</acronym> configuration requires that an > + <filename>exports</filename> file be created in the I still really dislike "be created". "be created" by what? "be", like "is", indicates passive voice. If the admin creates the file, say so. If a program creates the file, say so. We generally assume an "explicit administrator creation" throughout the docs, so this sentence could be eliminated. > + <filename>/etc</filename> directory. The <filename>/etc/exports</filename> > + file will specify which filesystems <acronym>NFS</acronym> should export (sometimes will specify -> specifies > <indexterm> > - <primary>NFS</primary> > - <secondary>exporting filesystems</secondary> > + <primary>Examples of exporting filesystems</primary> > </indexterm> So, you think this should show up in the index as "Examples of exporting filesystems" and not be referenced under NFS? That's not a very typical index entry... > - <option>-alldirs</option> flag allows all the directories below > - the specified file system to be exported as well.</para> > + Optionally the <filename>/etc/hosts</filename> file could be configured > + for internal hostnames, please view the &man.hosts.5; man page for more > + information. This sentence is ugly. Perhaps a semicolon instead of a comma? Also, we don't usually say "the X man page"; we just say "see X," and let the DocBook system do its magic. The <option>-alldirs</option> flag allows for the directories > + below the specified filesystem to also be exported.</para> "for" is unnecessary. > - <para>Now that you have made all these changes you can just reboot > - and let FreeBSD start everything for you at boot time, or you can > - run the following commands as root:</para> > + <para>Alternatively, a reboot will make FreeBSD set everything > + up properly. Although, a reboot is not necessary. Never start a sentence with "although" or "however"; bad grammar. > + Executing the following commands, as <username>root</username> of course, "of course" is like "it goes without saying"; if it's that obvious, don't write it. And if it goes without saying, then don't say it. > system. This can be done one of two ways. In these examples the The whole "This can be done one of two ways" sentence can go entirely; it's not true. You can do temporary mounts, or automatic mounts, but they can only be done in one way. > - <para>There are many very cool uses for NFS. Some of the more common > - ones are listed below.</para> > + <para><acronym>NFS</acronym> has many practical. Some of the > + more common ones are listed below:</para> Practical what? Fragment. Fragments bad. also, gratuitous whitespace. The first line in this will probably be very long, but whoever commits will word-wrap it in a second commit. > - <para>&man.amd.8;, which is also known as the automatic mounter > - daemon, is a useful utility used for automatically mounting a > + <para>&man.amd.8; (the automatic mounter daemon) > + is a useful utility that automatically mounts a It better be 'useful', or why are we discussing it? :-) I'd cut that bit out. "amd (the automatic mounter daemon) automatically mounts a..." ==ml -- Michael Lucas mwlucas@FreeBSD.org, mwlucas@BlackHelicopters.org my FreeBSD column: http://www.oreillynet.com/pub/q/Big_Scary_Daemons http://www.blackhelicopters.org/~mwlucas/ To Unsubscribe: send mail to majordomo@FreeBSD.org with "unsubscribe freebsd-doc" in the body of the message
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