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Date:      Mon, 29 Aug 2011 01:30:15 GMT
From:      Garrett Cooper <yanegomi@gmail.com>
To:        freebsd-doc@FreeBSD.org
Subject:   Re: docs/160269: [patch] Handbook wireless section: sand off some rough edges
Message-ID:  <201108290130.p7T1UFLj020449@freefall.freebsd.org>

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The following reply was made to PR docs/160269; it has been noted by GNATS.

From: Garrett Cooper <yanegomi@gmail.com>
To: Warren Block <wblock@wonkity.com>
Cc: freebsd-gnats-submit@freebsd.org
Subject: Re: docs/160269: [patch] Handbook wireless section: sand off some
 rough edges
Date: Sun, 28 Aug 2011 18:03:28 -0700

 On Sun, Aug 28, 2011 at 5:38 PM, Warren Block <wblock@wonkity.com> wrote:
 >
 >>Number: =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 160269
 >>Category: =A0 =A0 =A0 docs
 >>Synopsis: =A0 =A0 =A0 [patch] Handbook wireless section: sand off some ro=
 ugh edges
 >>Confidential: =A0 no
 >>Severity: =A0 =A0 =A0 non-critical
 >>Priority: =A0 =A0 =A0 low
 >>Responsible: =A0 =A0freebsd-doc
 >>State: =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0open
 >>Quarter:
 >>Keywords:
 >>Date-Required:
 >>Class: =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0doc-bug
 >>Submitter-Id: =A0 current-users
 >>Arrival-Date: =A0 Mon Aug 29 00:40:03 UTC 2011
 >>Closed-Date:
 >>Last-Modified:
 >>Originator: =A0 =A0 Warren Block
 >>Release: =A0 =A0 =A0 =A08-STABLE
 >>Organization:
 >>Environment:
 > FreeBSD lightning 8.2-STABLE FreeBSD 8.2-STABLE #0: Fri Aug 26 13:17:14 M=
 DT 2011 =A0 =A0 root@lightning:/usr/obj/usr/src/sys/LIGHTNING =A0i386
 >>Description:
 > Fix some wording and punctuation in the advanced networking/wireless sect=
 ion of the Handbook.
 >>How-To-Repeat:
 > Read the later parts of the wireless section.
 >>Fix:
 > Apply patch.
 >
 > Patch attached with submission follows:
 >
 > --- en_US.ISO8859-1/books/handbook/advanced-networking/chapter.sgml.orig =
 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A02011-08-28 17:57:28.000000000 -0600
 > +++ en_US.ISO8859-1/books/handbook/advanced-networking/chapter.sgml =A0 =
 =A0 2011-08-28 18:35:33.000000000 -0600
 > @@ -1225,7 +1225,7 @@
 > =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0the 802.1X authentication protocol and uses one of=
  several
 > =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0ciphers instead of WEP for data integrity. =A0The =
 only
 > =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0cipher required by WPA is TKIP (Temporary Key Inte=
 grity
 > - =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 Protocol) which is a cipher that extends the basic =
 RC4
 > + =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 Protocol). =A0TKIP is a cipher that extends the bas=
 ic RC4
 > =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0cipher used by WEP by adding integrity checking, t=
 amper
 > =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0detection, and measures for responding to any dete=
 cted
 > =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0intrusions. =A0TKIP is designed to work on legacy =
 hardware
 > @@ -1243,7 +1243,7 @@
 > =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0station and the access point using a pre-shared se=
 cret.
 > =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0The former is commonly termed WPA Enterprise with =
 the
 > =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0latter known as WPA Personal. =A0Since most people=
  will not
 > - =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 set up a RADIUS backend server for wireless network=
 ,
 > + =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 set up a RADIUS backend server for their wireless n=
 etwork,
 > =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0WPA-PSK is by far the most commonly encountered
 > =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0configuration for WPA.</para>
 >
 > @@ -1258,7 +1258,7 @@
 > =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0<sect5 id=3D"network-wireless-wpa-wpa-psk">
 > =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0<title>WPA-PSK</title>
 >
 > - =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 <para>WPA-PSK also known as WPA-Personal is based o=
 n a
 > + =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 <para>WPA-PSK, also known as WPA-Personal, is based=
  on a
 > =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0pre-shared key (PSK) generated from a given pa=
 ssword and
 > =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0that will be used as the master key in the wir=
 eless
 > =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0network. =A0This means every wireless user wil=
 l share the
 > @@ -1289,7 +1289,7 @@
 > =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0<programlisting>wlans_ath0=3D"wlan0"
 > =A0ifconfig_wlan0=3D"WPA DHCP"</programlisting>
 >
 > - =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 <para>Then, we can bring up the interface:</para>
 > + =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 <para>Then we can bring up the interface:</para>
 >
 > =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0<screen>&prompt.root; <userinput><filename>/etc/rc=
 .d/netif</filename> start</userinput>
 > =A0Starting wpa_supplicant.
 > @@ -1342,16 +1342,16 @@
 > =A0 =A0 =A0 wme burst roaming MANUAL</screen>
 >
 > =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0<note>
 > - =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 <para>If the <filename>/etc/rc.conf</filename> =
 is set up
 > + =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 <para>If <filename>/etc/rc.conf</filename> is s=
 et up
 > =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0with the line <literal>ifconfig_wlan0=3D"D=
 HCP"</literal>
 > - =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 then it is no need to run the
 > - =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 <command>dhclient</command> command manuall=
 y,
 > + =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 then it is not necessary to run the
 > + =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 <command>dhclient</command> command manuall=
 y.
 
 This isn't entirely true. You can specify other options like
 "SYNCDHCP", "ssid <foo> DHCP", etc, and it will achieve what's
 described below. Manual execution of dhclient in general should be
 discouraged for most users.
 
 > =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0<para>EAP does not come with an encryption method,=
  it was
 > =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0decided to embed EAP inside an encrypted tunne=
 l. =A0Many
 > - =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 types of EAP authentication methods have been d=
 esigned,
 > - =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 the most common methods are EAP-TLS, EAP-TTLS a=
 nd
 > + =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 types of EAP authentication methods have been d=
 esigned.
 > + =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 The most common methods are EAP-TLS, EAP-TTLS a=
 nd
 > =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0EAP-PEAP.</para>
 
 Maybe it should say something like "There are many EAP authentication
 methods: the most common ones are EAP-TLS, EAP-TTLS, and EAP-PEAP" ?
 
 > =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0<para>EAP-TLS (EAP with Transport Layer Security) =
 is a
 > @@ -1555,7 +1555,7 @@
 > =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0<callout arearefs=3D"co-ttls-cacert">
 > =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0<para>The <literal>ca_cert</literal> field=
  indicates
 > =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0the pathname of the CA certificate fil=
 e. =A0This file
 > - =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 is needed to verify the server certific=
 at.</para>
 > + =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 is needed to verify the server certific=
 ate.</para>
 > =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0</callout>
 >
 > =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0<callout arearefs=3D"co-ttls-pha2">
 > @@ -1599,10 +1599,10 @@
 >
 > =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0<para>PEAP (Protected EAP) has been designed as an
 > =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0alternative to EAP-TTLS. =A0There are two type=
 s of PEAP
 > - =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 methods, the most common one is PEAPv0/EAP-MSCH=
 APv2. =A0In
 > + =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 methods; the most common one is PEAPv0/EAP-MSCH=
 APv2. =A0In
 
 That could be a colon instead.
 
 > =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0the rest of this document, we will use the PEA=
 P term to
 > =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0refer to that EAP method. =A0PEAP is the most =
 used EAP
 > - =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 standard after EAP-TLS, in other words if you h=
 ave a
 > + =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 standard after EAP-TLS. =A0In other words, if y=
 ou have a
 
 This could be a semicolon.
 
 > =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0network with mixed OSes, PEAP should be the mo=
 st
 > =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0supported standard after EAP-TLS.</para>
 >
 > @@ -1610,9 +1610,9 @@
 > =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0certificate to authenticate clients by creatin=
 g an
 > =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0encrypted TLS tunnel between the client and th=
 e
 > =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0authentication server, which protects the ensu=
 ing
 > - =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 exchange of authentication information. =A0In t=
 erm of
 > + =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 exchange of authentication information. =A0In t=
 erms of
 > =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0security the difference between EAP-TTLS and P=
 EAP is
 > - =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 that PEAP authentication broadcasts the usernam=
 e in
 > + =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 that PEAP authentication broadcasts the usernam=
 e in the
 > =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0clear, only the password is sent in the encryp=
 ted TLS
 > =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0tunnel.
 
 This sentence is extremely wordy.
 
 The rest of the changes are good incremental improvements to the
 existing doc :).
 
 Thanks!
 -Garrett



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