Date: 29 Jan 2003 11:58:44 -0800 From: swear@attbi.com (Gary W. Swearingen) To: "Stacy Olivas" <olivas@digiflux.org> Cc: <advocacy@freebsd.org>, <bsd-advocacy@daemonnews.org> Subject: Re: Draft: Proposed FreeBSD PubRel project Charter Message-ID: <6vel6viv7v.l6v@localhost.localdomain> In-Reply-To: <002601c2c7c4$ed66cd10$0502000a@sentinel> References: <002601c2c7c4$ed66cd10$0502000a@sentinel>
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"Stacy Olivas" <olivas@digiflux.org> writes:
> Here is what I promised earlier.. Please look it over and rip it apart.. :)
You asked for it.
> (Proposed) FreeBSD Public Relations Project Team Charter (Draft):
Add "The"?
> The following document is a draft of the FreeBSD Public Relations project
> charter.
Redundant. Snip it. Or is the name change significant?
> 1. Purpose. The purpose of the FreeBSD Public Relations project (called
> PubRel) is to
1. Purpose. The purpose of the FreeBSD Public Relations project (also
known as the FreeBSD PubRel project) is to
or
1. Purpose. The purpose of the FreeBSD Public Relations (PubRel)
project is to
Decide and document whether you're going to capitalize "the" and
"project" in such places and whether you're going to use or not use
"the" in titles, etc. I think it should be "The...Project". (Same with
"The FreeBSD Project", but I haven't checked what that project uses.)
> inform the world about the existance of the FreeBSD Operationg system. It
> will be the
> primary point of contact on all publicity matters for the FreeBSD OS.
inform the world about the FreeBSD operating system. It will be the
primary point of contact on publicity matters for the FreeBSD OS.
But that last sentence is not couched as a purpose and seems to belong
in section 2. Maybe:
inform the world about the FreeBSD operating system, both through
publicity activities and responses to requests for information.
> 2. Responsibilities. The FreeBSD PubRel team will be responsible for:
Lose the "FreeBSD" here and some other places. It gets tiresome.
> a. Coordination of all press releases for the FreeBSD project (on-line,
> print, etc).
"etc.)."
> b. Maintain an up-to-date press kit on FreeBSD, which will allow any
> technical or
> non-technical person understand the advantages FreeBSD has over other
> OS's.
b. Maintaining an up-to-date FreeBSD press kit, which will allow
people of any level of expertise to understand FreeBSD's
advantages.
or
...to compare FreeBSD with other OSes.
> c. Act as the primary point of contact on all FreeBSD advocating
> activities,
"Acting".
Decide whether you're going to use "advocacy" or "PR" and use only that
unless the other term doesn't work. Why "advocating" is used here is
unclear. Does it mean to be different than the "purpose" sentence?
> to in include (but not limited to): organizing of booths or other
> public
to include: organizing of booths or other public
If you use the parens, fix the grammar to jive with what preceeds it.
> presentations, sponsoring presentations given by various
> individuals/organizations,
> etc.
> d. Recruting new people as advocates for the FreeBSD OS.
> e. Monitoring all media outlets (to their best of their abilities) and
> collecting
> any information found on FreeBSD for use in press releases, etc.
Lose "all" and "(to the best of their abilities)" and "any".
> f. Promoting a positive image of FreeBSD to the world.
> g. Act as the primary points of contact with all media outlets for the
> FreeBSD project.
"Acting". Lose "all".
> h. Work with the other parts of the FreeBSD project (core team, release
> engineering team, etc)
> and with the FreeBSD foundation in developing promotional materials
> for distribution.
"Working with other". "The FreeBSD Foundation"?
> 3. Organization.
>
> a. The PubRel team will consist of not less than four (4) core team
> members.
"no less"? Lose the "(4)".
I like "leader" much better than "core team member", but that's just me.
> b. Each of these core team members will share an equal vote on all
> matters
> related to the project.
"Each of the". "will have equal votes".
> c. One member will be designated as the "head" of the PubRel project,
> and as
> such be able to push the project in a given direction to help keep
> from
> forming a deadlock.
c. One member will be designated as the "head" of the PubRel
project, and as such, will be able to push the project in a given
direction to help keep from forming a deadlock.
Way too fuzzy. What's it mean? That the leaders don't have equal votes?
> d. Each core team member will have specific responsibilities assignem to
> them. These responsibilities
> are as follows:
"assigned". Maybe "Responsibilities include:"
> (1) Team Head
>
> (a) Overall project management and primary point of contact\
> (b) Responsible for press releases to on-line media outlets
> (including Slashdot)
End each item with ".". Lose "Responsible for" here and below.
> (2) Team member #1
>
> (a) Rrcruting new advocates and providing assistance to advocates
"Recruiting".
> (b) Responsible for press releases to Magazines (print, exclusing
> trade publications)
"magazines". "excluding"
> (3) Team member #2
>
> (a)
?????
> (b) Responsible for press releases to Newspapers
> (4) Team member #3
>
> (a)
> (b) Responsible for press releases to Trade Publications
> e. New core team members can be added only upon a unanimous vote from
> all current team members.
"an unanimous".
> f. Team members can only be removed upon a unanimous vote from all
> current team members and
> a minimum of 3 votes from the current FreeBSD project core team.
"all other"? (else the ejectee gets a veto vote) Lose "current".
> 4. Reporting requirements. The PubRel team will be directly responsible to
> the FreeBSD core team and, as such
> will be required to provide the core team with quarterly updates on their
"shall provide". "quarterly reports".
> activities. Invluding (but
"Including"
> not limited to:
"to):"
> a. Number of press releases that were released (and to what type of
> media outlet)
"The number" here and next.
> b. Number of press releases that were used (who and when)
> c. Progress on any current projects.
Lose "any" or use "all".
> d. Submit copies of all press releases via send-pr with a copy posted
> to the -advocacy list
"freebsd-advocacy". Maybe this:
d. Send copies of all press releases to
FreeBSD-gnats-submit@freebsd.org and FreeBSD-advocacy@freebsd.org".
Change "will" and "can" to "shall", in most (if not all) places above.
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