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Date:      Sun, 3 Mar 2002 01:01:32 +0200
From:      Giorgos Keramidas <keramida@freebsd.org>
To:        Michael Lucas <mwlucas@blackhelicopters.org>
Cc:        Tom Rhodes <darklogik@pittgoth.com>, freebsd-doc@freebsd.org
Subject:   Re: docs/35098: [PATCH] Handbook NFS stuff
Message-ID:  <20020302230131.GA99866@hades.hell.gr>
In-Reply-To: <20020302152507.A83170@blackhelicopters.org>
References:  <200202262110.g1QLA2f07435@freefall.freebsd.org> <20020302152507.A83170@blackhelicopters.org>

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On 2002-03-02 15:25, Michael Lucas wrote:
> Okay, I think I'm done ripping on this poor guys work.  Anything left
> for me to say is purely stylistic.

Tom has been doing a lot of work, lately.

Michael, you've also carefully checked what he posted, and usually have
already commented already by the time I downloaded the thread.

My compliments, guys :)
You certainly make everyone envy you^W^W^H proud.

>         <listitem>
>   	<para>There is no need for users to have unique home directories
>  -	  on every machine on your network.  Once they have an established
>  -	  directory that is available via NFS it can be accessed from
>  -	  anywhere.</para>
>  +	  on every network machine.  Home directories could be setup on the
>  +          <acronym>NFS</acronym> server and made available throughout the network.</para>
>         </listitem>

I'd probably go for "There is no need for users to have separate ..." here.
'Unique' is almost exclusively used when a reference to a set of objects is
made, and emphasis on their being different is needed.

>         <listitem>
>  -	<para>Storage devices such as floppies and CDROM drives can be
>  -	  used by other machines on the network eliminating the need for
>  -	  extra hardware.</para>
>  +	<para>Storage devices such as floppy disks, CDROM drives, and ZIP drives
>  +          can be used by other machines on the network. This may reduce the number
>  +          of removable media drives.</para>

Number of 'required' or 'necessary' media drives?
Whose number of media drives?

>  +      <para><acronym>NFS</acronym> consists of at least two main parts: a server
>  +        and at least one client. The client remotely accesses the data that is stored
>  +        on the server machine.  In order for this to function properly a few
>  +	processes have to be configured and running:</para>

Whitespace nit.  If you use tab for initial line indentation, please use it
consistently, before commiting this; since this replaces the entire
paragraph, it doesn't count as a 'whitespace only change'.

>  +	      <entry> The portmapper daemon
>  +		allows <acronym>NFS</acronym> clients to discover which port the <acronym>NFS</acronym> server
>  +                is using.</entry>

Whitespace nit.  Since this is an entirely new <entry>, could we have it
properly indented and wrapped too?  (For some definition of 'properly' that
fits the style of the rest of this document.)

>  +      <para>The client can also run a daemon, known as
>  +        <application>nfsiod</application>.  The <application>nfsiod</application>
>  +        daemon services the requests from the <acronym>NFS</acronym> server.  This
>  +        is optional, and improves performance, but is not required for normal
>  +        and correct operation.  See the &man.nfsiod.8; man page for more information.

s/man page/manual page/

This is not some doc-policy style of thing, but I tend to prefer one of
these two forms:

	* The &blah; manual page.

	* You can find out by checking out &man.blah; how this is done.

I'm not really that sure about this though.  It's really up to you two to
decide if you like one of these two any better.

>  +      <para><command>mountd</command> runs automatically whenever the
>  +	<acronym>NFS</acronym> server is enabled.

Indentation needs fix0ring, and there's a missing </para>.

>         <programlisting>nfs_client_enable="YES"
>  -nfs_client_flags="-n 4"</programlisting>
>  -
>  -      <para>Like <command>nfsd</command>, the <option>-n 4</option> tells
>  -	<command>nfsiod</command> to start 4 copies of itself.</para>
>  +        </programlisting>

Should we close </programlisting> on the first and 'last' line of content?

	<programlisting>nfs_client_enable="YES"</programlisting>

>  +      <para>
>  +        The <filename>/etc/exports</filename>
>  ...
>  +        that can be used in this file but only a few will be mentioned here.  You can easily discover
>  +	other options by reading over the &man.exports.5; manual page.
>  +      </para>

Please indent a bit, wrap the replacement paragraph to some reasonable
length, and make <para>...</para> cuddle to the text within, at the
beginning and end of it, like the rest of the text does:

	<para>...
	  ...</para>

>  +      <para>The following examples give an idea of how to export filesystems,
>  +        although the settings may be different depending on
>  +        your environment and network configuration.
>  +        The following line exports <filename>/cdrom</filename> to
>  +	three example machines that have the same domain name as the server

I'm a little uncomfortable with two sentences that both start with 'The
following'.  The second could probably be rewritten as:

	For instance, to export <filename>/cdrom</filename> ...

>  +      <para>The following line exports <filename>/a</filename> so that two
>  +	clients from different domains may access the filesystem.  The
>  +	<option>-maproot=0</option> flag allows the <username>root</username>
>  +        user on the remote system to write data on the exported filesystem as

That same tab vs. space thing for initial indentation, again :-/

Since there are many places where tabs and spaces have been mixed in
indentation, I'll probably shuttup now.

>  +      <para>The &man.fstab.5; manual page lists all the available options.</para>

Wheeeee :)
"The &foo; manual page." :)
Thanks, thanks!

>  +	  <para>Set several machines to share a CDROM or
>  +	    other media among them.  This is cheaper and often
>  +            more convenient.</para>

Than what?

>  +	  <para>Several machines could have a common <filename>/usr/ports/distfiles</filename>

wrap?

[-- Finally --]

Excellent work!  I haven't used NFS in a while, and I am probably not the
best guy to comment on technical parts of this, but it looks great.  Very
easy to follow, IMHO.

My apologies, if commenting now is a bit late, and has you thinking things
like 'Ya, right, Mr. Anal Retentiveness, where were you when we were
writing this stuff?'.  I seem to have a complete lack of organization in
my time schedule these last weeks, and I keep forgetting TODO stuff.

Cheers,

Giorgos Keramidas                       FreeBSD Documentation Project
keramida@{freebsd.org,ceid.upatras.gr}  http://www.FreeBSD.org/docproj/
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