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Date:      Sun, 5 Feb 2012 08:41:45 -0700 (MST)
From:      Warren Block <wblock@wonkity.com>
To:        Daniel Gerzo <danger@FreeBSD.org>
Cc:        doc@FreeBSD.org
Subject:   Re: New Handbook Section for Review - graid3
Message-ID:  <alpine.BSF.2.00.1202050814020.67567@wonkity.com>
In-Reply-To: <4F2E720E.4070009@FreeBSD.org>
References:  <20120131104953.GA55314@freefall.freebsd.org> <alpine.BSF.2.00.1201311344400.97077@wonkity.com> <4F2E720E.4070009@FreeBSD.org>

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On Sun, 5 Feb 2012, Daniel Gerzo wrote:

> On 31.1.2012 21:58, Warren Block wrote:
>> On Tue, 31 Jan 2012, Daniel Gerzo wrote:
>> 
>>> A new Handbook section covering graid3 is now available for review;
>>> the patch is attached.
>>> 
>>> The text is based on PR 164228. A built version is available at
>>> http://people.freebsd.org/~danger/geom-raid3.html.
>>> 
>>> Comments are welcome.
>> 
>> Patch with suggested changes attached. This is a full diff, not a diff
>> to your diff.
>
> Hello Warren, thanks for the review. I have updated my diff and you guys can 
> find it here:
>
> http://people.freebsd.org/~danger/geom-dg.diff
> http://people.freebsd.org/~danger/geom-raid3.html
>
> Any more comments?

Just a few small ones. :)

s/that get written/
   that are written/

s/Also due to the nature of RAID3/
   Due to the nature of RAID3/
   (Or put a comma after "Also", but shorter is better.

s/configuration has to be done in order to retain/
   configuration is needed to retain/

s/across the system reboots/
   across system reboots/

Consider "this line" and "these lines" to "the following line", but 
admittedly that's subjective.  (It's usually obvious which line is being 
referred to, particularly when there's a colon.)

The fstab example at the end would be easier to read with tabs between 
the fields.  (Tabs show reliably and accurately in HTML and PDF output 
now.)

Thanks!



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