Date: Fri, 12 Oct 2001 15:35:42 +0200 From: Rahul Siddharthan <rsidd@physics.iisc.ernet.in> To: Tom Hukins <tom@FreeBSD.ORG> Cc: Jean-Francois Dockes <jean-francois.dockes@wanadoo.fr>, freebsd-doc@FreeBSD.ORG Subject: Re: Updated 'diskless operation' section for the handbook Message-ID: <20011012153542.A77622@lpt.ens.fr> In-Reply-To: <20011012124351.A7169@eborcom.com>; from tom@FreeBSD.ORG on Fri, Oct 12, 2001 at 12:43:51PM %2B0100 References: <200110121003.f9CA37p10022@hautmedoc.dockes.com> <20011012124351.A7169@eborcom.com>
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Maybe none of my business, but: Tom Hukins said on Oct 12, 2001 at 12:43:51: > > The attached patch contains fixes for some of the English, a minor > stylistic change (linking directly to a man page) and a few examples > of removing unecessary space within tags. I don't see the point of *any* of the "English" changes; the original language was correct, as far as I can see, and the new language does not seem improved. In some cases it's not worse, just unnecessary, but in the following cases I have to disagree strongly; one of the changes definitely goes against common usage in FreeBSD too. > @@ -1109,8 +1109,8 @@ > > <para>A FreeBSD machine can boot over the network and operate without a > local disk, using file systems mounted from an NFS server. No system > - modification is necessary, beyond standard configuration files. > - Such a system is easy to set up because all the necessary elements > + modification is necessary, beyond standard configuration files, and > + such a system is easy to set up because all the necessary elements > are readily available: </para> The change here seems to go against a common rule of clear writing: use short sentences. I don't see why two short sentences should be combined into one long one. > @@ -1156,15 +1156,15 @@ > <para>There are many ways to set up diskless workstations. Many > elements are involved, and most can be customized to suit local > taste. The following will describe the setup of a complete system, > - emphasising simplicity and compatibility with the > + with an emphasis on simplicity and compatibility with the > standard FreeBSD startup scripts. The system described has the > following characteristics: </para> Again, this just adds three more words, and I don't see why. > <itemizedlist> > <listitem> > <para>The diskless workstations use a shared > - read-only <filename>root</filename> filesystem, and a shared > - read-only <filename>/usr</filename>. </para> > + readonly <filename>root</filename> filesystem, and a shared > + readonly <filename>/usr</filename>. </para> To me, "read-only" seems correct; it is also consistent with actual FreeBSD usage (the output of the "mount" command, for example). I don't think there is such a word as "readonly". > @@ -1222,8 +1222,8 @@ > <para>The <application>isc-dhcp</application> server can answer > both BOOTP and DHCP requests.</para> > > - <para>As of release 4.4, <application>isc-dhcp</application> is not part of the base > - system. You will first need to install the > + <para><application>isc-dhcp</application> is not part of the base > + system (as of release 4.4). You will first need to install the > <filename>/usr/ports/net/isc-dhcp3</filename> port or the > corresponding package. Please refer to <xref linkend="ports"> > for general information about ports and packages.</para> Again, to me the original looks definitely better. > @@ -1558,7 +1559,7 @@ > > > <sect4> > - <title>Running with a read-only <filename>/usr</filename></title > + <title>Running with a readonly <filename>/usr</filename></title Again, I'd prefer "read-only", and so do FreeBSD programs. To Unsubscribe: send mail to majordomo@FreeBSD.org with "unsubscribe freebsd-doc" in the body of the message
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