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Date:      Sun, 14 Jun 1998 17:51:42 -0700
From:      Tim Gerchmez <fewtch@serv.net>
To:        <freebsd-newbies@FreeBSD.ORG>
Subject:   The 7 circles of Unix knowledge (humor)
Message-ID:  <3.0.5.32.19980614175142.007b4420@mx.serv.net>

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The following is in the public domain and may be reprinted in its
entirety/added to/embellished, etc, if anyone finds it humorous enough to
do so.

The way I look at it, there are seven "circles" of Unix knowledge:

* Newbiehood.  Equivalent to a white belt in Karate.  Haven't entered the 7
circles yet.

*  You enter the first circle by installing and configuring Unix correctly,
and getting Xfree86 up and running correctly with no problems, and have
tried various X clients (including window managers) and servers.  Some
knowledge of Unix commands and structure is also necessary to graduate to
this level.

* To graduate to the 2nd circle, you need to master Unix networking in its
entirety.  This involves many possible forms of networking... Internet,
local area networks, various kinds of WANs, etc.  This is the level many
sysadmins of various ISP's are at, or are just entering the third circle.

* The third circle may be entered by mastering ALL the various utilities
included with Unix and furthering your knowledge in every area.  You can
usually recognize someone within the 3th circle by their writing... every
2nd word or so consists of a 2 or 3-letter name of a Unix program ("I've
tried vm and md, but pcd and ox aren't quite as useful as fvm is.   You
should try mss or rw sometime though, it's even better than srmt.  Even ptt
isn't as useful.").  A person with no Unix knowledge cannot understand 75%
of what a 3rd circle member says or writes.

* The fourth circle takes the longest to reach, and is entered when you no
longer need to type 'man command' for any Unix command in existence, and
have memorized most or all existing Unix documentation, can program
fluently in Perl, C, write complex CGI scripts without thinking about it,
etc.  This is generally the point where the word "Guru" applies.  The
ability to compress an average 100 line (80 characters per line including
white space allowed) C program down to 2 lines without blinking is a
requirement for entering the fourth circle, and this ability is tested by
higher-ups before admission is granted.

* The knowledge required to enter the 5th and 6th circles is secret, and
unknown to those below those levels.  Reaching the 6th circle generally
takes 20 years or more of 40+ hours/week Unix administration and
programming, and even longer for many.  A 6th circle initiate (just
beginning at that level) could write their own entirely unique version of
Unix from scratch in C by themselves in a matter of one or two weeks,
device drivers and all.  Needless to say, there are probably only 2 or 3
members of the 6th circle currently alive on Earth, and they keep their
knowledge hidden from everyone but each other.

(6) Mastering the 7th circle at last, you leave your body and pass into
universal guru-dom, merge into the digital domain, and vanish from the
Earthly plane entirely.  Only one or two souls have made it to the 7th
circle in the history of Unix.  Who knows who they were, or where they
went.  They exist now in binary digital form, traveling rapidly from PC to
PC as minute pulses through the ether of the cosmos.  Occasionally their
presence is responsible for the crash of a Windows machine, as they pass
through the system bus and RAM in their endless exploration of all things
digital.  Unix, of course, would stay up and running in their presence, and
those who claim to have had it up for a year or more solid without a crash
may have been graced with the presence of a 7th circle initiate.

Tim

--
My web site starts at http://www.serv.net/~fewtch/index.html -
lots of goodies for everyone, have a look if you have the time.


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