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Date:      Thu, 14 Mar 2002 19:56:48 +0100
From:      Udo Erdelhoff <ue@nathan.ruhr.de>
To:        "Bruce A. Mah" <bmah@freebsd.org>
Cc:        freebsd-sparc@freebsd.org, freebsd-doc@freebsd.org
Subject:   Re: FreeBSD/sparc64 install document active in -CURRENT
Message-ID:  <20020314185648.GO90154@nathan.ruhr.de>
In-Reply-To: <200203140543.g2E5hek56478@bmah.dyndns.org>
References:  <200203140543.g2E5hek56478@bmah.dyndns.org>

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Hi,
On Wed, Mar 13, 2002 at 09:43:40PM -0800, Bruce A. Mah wrote:
> Comments (and commits) welcome.
 
as promised, I have included the second version of my patch:

- add some forgotten </para>
- <screen> and friends should not be inside a <para> entity
- Use <command>foo</command> instead of screen in the disk label section
- Use <procedure> for this section
- disklabel -e <device> auto was replaced by disklabel -e <device> (looks
  like an artifact from a copy&paste action)
- use <replaceable></replaceable> instead of <>, &lt;>, &lt;&gt; in some
  places
- <screen> tags should snuggle up to their content
- reduce the number of sentences torn apart by screen presentations

/s/Udo
-- 
Tell init to lock and load - we're going zombie slaying

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Index: install.sgml
===================================================================
RCS file: /home/ncvs/src/release/doc/en_US.ISO8859-1/installation/sparc64/install.sgml,v
retrieving revision 1.7
diff -u -r1.7 install.sgml
--- install.sgml	14 Mar 2002 01:40:47 -0000	1.7
+++ install.sgml	14 Mar 2002 18:49:31 -0000
@@ -56,7 +56,7 @@
       <para>This section describes the files you will need for a
 	&os;/&arch; installation.  The links in this document point to
 	the main &os; FTP server.  Please use a mirror site instead if
-	possible.
+	possible.</para>
 
       <important>
 	<para>The URLs in this section are provisional and subject to
@@ -139,12 +139,10 @@
 	on the keyboard, or send a
         <command>BREAK</command> over the serial console (using for
         example <command>~#</command> in &man.tip.1; or &man.cu.1;) to
-        get to the PROM prompt.  It looks like
+        get to the PROM prompt.  It looks like this:</para>
 
-        <screen>ok </screen>
-        or
-        <screen>ok {0} </screen>
-        (on SMP systems).</para>
+        <screen><prompt>ok     </prompt>      (systems with one CPU)
+<prompt>ok {0} </prompt>      (SMP systems)</screen>
     </sect3>
   </sect2>
     
@@ -242,7 +240,7 @@
   :rp="<replaceable>tftp-server-ip-address</replaceable>:<replaceable>nfs-root-directory</replaceable>":\
   :sm=<replaceable>ip-netmask</replaceable>
 
-&lt;name of the entry>:\
+<replaceable>name of the entry</replaceable>:\
   ha=<replaceable>sparc64-ethernet-address</replaceable>:ip=<replaceable>sparc64-ip-address</replaceable>:tc=.default</programlisting>
 
         <para>The Ethernet address must be the same as the one in the
@@ -287,7 +285,7 @@
            <literal>option host-name</literal> is resolvable, i.e. has
            a DNS entry or is associated with an address in
            <filename>/etc/hosts</filename>, the
-           <literal>fixed-address</literal> specification can be omitted.
+           <literal>fixed-address</literal> specification can be omitted.</para>
       </sect4>
     </sect3>
 
@@ -396,18 +394,22 @@
     <para>To create a disk label, the following procedure is the
       easiest:</para>
 
-    <para>First, use:
-<screen>&prompt.root; <userinput>disklabel -w -r &lt;device&gt; auto</userinput></screen>
-      This will create a basic disk label. The third argument you need
+    <procedure>
+      <step>
+    <para>Run
+<command>disklabel -w -r <replaceable>device</replaceable> auto</command>
+      to create a basic disk label. The third argument you need
       specify here is just the name of the device, not the complete
       path to the device node (e.g. <devicename>ad0</devicename> for
       the first ATA disk).</para>
+      </step>
 
+      <step>
     <para>
-      Now, use:
-<screen>&prompt.root; <userinput>disklabel -e &lt;device&gt; auto</userinput></screen>
-      This will open an editor in which you can edit the disk
-      label. The information presented to you should look like:
+      Use
+<command>disklabel -e <replaceable>device</replaceable></command>
+      to open an editor in which you can edit the disk
+      label. The information presented to you should look like:</para>
 
 <screen># /dev/ad6c:
 type: unknown
@@ -430,10 +432,9 @@
 
 8 partitions:
 #        size   offset    fstype   [fsize bsize bps/cpg]
-  c: 80418240        0    unused        0     0         # (Cyl.    0 - 79779)
-</screen>
+  c: 80418240        0    unused        0     0         # (Cyl.    0 - 79779)</screen>
 
-      You can now add new partitions in the same format as the already
+      <para>You can now add new partitions in the same format as the already
       present line. Using <literal>*</literal> in the offset field makes the procedure
       easier; please refer to the &man.disklabel.8; manual page for more
       information.</para>
@@ -451,7 +452,9 @@
       this disk must have their respective partition entries in the
       old and new label match <emphasis>exactly</emphasis>, or they
       will be lost.</para></warning>
+      </step>
 
+      <step>
     <para>Use <command>disklabel -B</command> if you want to make the
       disk bootable for &os;/&arch;.</para>
 
@@ -467,6 +470,8 @@
       <ulink
       url="ftp://ftp.FreeBSD.org/pub/FreeBSD/development/sparc64/loader-ufs.gz"></ulink>;
     </para>
+      </step>
+    </procedure>
 
   </sect2>
    
@@ -491,19 +496,19 @@
 
     <para>To create file systems and to install the base system, boot
       from CDROM or via NFS and create a disk label as described in
-      <xref linkend="creating-disk-label">.
+      <xref linkend="creating-disk-label">.</para>
 
     <para>When booting the first time and you have not entered your
       root partition into <filename>/etc/fstab</filename> yet, you may
       need to specify your root partition on the mountroot prompt when
       booting (use a format like
-      <command>ufs:&lt;disk>&lt;partition></command>, i.e. leave the
+      <command>ufs:<replaceable>disk</replaceable><replaceable>partition</replaceable></command>, i.e. leave the
       slice specification out). If the kernel does automatically
       attempt to boot from another file system, press a key other than
       <keycap>Enter</keycap> on the <application>loader</application>
-      prompt:
+      prompt:</para>
 <screen>Hit [Enter] to boot immediately, or any other key for command prompt.</screen>
-      Then, boot the kernel using <command>boot -a -s</command>, which
+      <para>Then, boot the kernel using <command>boot -a -s</command>, which
       will cause the kernel to ask you for the root partition and
       then boot into single-user mode. Once the root file system has
       been entered into <filename>/etc/fstab</filename>, it should be

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